Monthly Archives: January 2012
It’s no secret that with January comes my annual case of the blahs. The holiday festivities are over, there is little going on, it’s the coldest month of the year, and my thoughts are of Spring and the fun of the dog shows that come with it (yet it’s still too far away to really begin any of the planning or fun). There are good things in January… like my Dad and my brother’s birthdays – both which happen to fall on the 11th. But over all? I’m happy it’s drawing to an end. I am SOOO ready for February!
So, it appears Canada is again on the chopping block thanks to Harper. Our flags once waved proud, but now are just as often full of disgrace. This newest measure allows discrimination based on gender, going so far as to allow airport security the right to allow or deny access to individuals based on their gender.
Under section 5.2(1)(c) of the Aeronautics Act:
“An air carrier shall not transport a passenger if: the passenger does not appear to be of the gender indicated on the identification he or she presents.”
Why is this an issue? Because for many Trans individuals the sex on their passport may not coincide with their gender. There are very strict rules in place for changing the sex on your international identification that only a very small segment of the populace qualifies for. These rules make it impossible for non-operative Trans people to have the M or F on their documents changed to reflect their actual gender. A better solution, if this wording is to remain in place would be to allow for an “Other” designation. Gender is, after all, a social construct that has nothing to do with an individuals sex (which, lets be honest, also has more than two possibilities). Alas, we are stuck in a society that appears to enjoy this incorrect, yet entrenched, gender binary.
This goes even farther though. The instant we allow those with limited power the ability to select who qualifies as female and who as male – based on how they present, we are opening ourselves up for all sorts of abuses. Gender is a social construct that changes with time. It used to be that we dressed our long haired little boys in pink dresses, while the girls wore blue.
What happens when the thirteen year old girl, with short cropped hair, wearing low rise baggy pants and a jersey is denied access to a plane to fly home to her parents after spending part of the Summer with her grandparents? This policy gives airports the right to determine who is female enough, or male enough to board their planes. The potential abuses this brings forward are downright scary. Don’t think for a second that because you are not a genderqueer, or trans individual, or because you don’t have a gender creative child that it won’t affect you. This is something that has the potential to harm us all. Will we all have to don a dress and kerchief in order to be female enough to avoid speculation? It’s a scary idea. Men, don’t even think about wearing that salmon coloured shirt, you too may be pulled for questioning regarding your gender presentation. Is this really a slope we even want to start on?
There is a petition here: http://www.petitiononlinecanada.com/petition/tell-harper-to-allow-trans-people-to-fly-on-airplanes/758 Add your name, and let Harper and his yes men know that you are saying NO to this government sanctioned discrimination. And for more information and ideas on what you can do to combat this, check out what Chris Milloy has to say here: http://chrismilloy.ca/2012/01/transgender-people-are-completely-banned-from-boarding-airplanes-in-canada/
I’ll be honest. I’m a little too brain-tired and body-weary to write much tonight. In the afternoon we headed out to Winter Shines, an annual Winter festival here in Saskatoon. The girl got to go for a pony ride, and visited with a bunch of animals at a mobile petting zoo. We checked out a bunch of amazing ice sculptures, and took pictures on the ice throne. After checking out some of the goodies at the farmers market (which is located right on site) we each picked out a treat to snack on, and then headed out to Diefenbaker hill for some serious sledding. We took my youngest sister home and snuck in a visit with the ‘rents before heading home for some supper and a little Princess and the Frog (a la Disney). But before any of this? I got a little scrappin’ in.
Today was a wonderful day. We created all sorts of new memories, and I got to scrapbook another great memory from this past Autumn. All in all? I’m a happy camper. Days like this, full of family, really do rock!
I have to say, I’ve never seen a bug come and go so fast.
The girlie and I were reading our nightly chapters and all of a sudden she heaved. I grabbed a cup that was sitting beside the bed. She began sweating profusely, and was burning up. She vomited about two tablespoons worth, and cooled right back down. Feeling fine again. The whole thing lasted about six minutes. Now she’s sleeping soundly Have you ever heard of some type of bug that is lightening fast like that? It was just crazy. I’m very relieved she’s feeling right as rain so quickly… but jeepers.
As for our other news, the puppies had a vet visit today. They got their DAPP shot (their one and only shot), were weighed and inspected. Deedee weighs in at a whopping 2.2 kgs (which is roughly 4.8 pounds) and Alice is a massive 2.5 kg (roughly 5.5 pounds). Okay, so they are absolutely a perfect size for female Chihuahuas – and right about where I guessed they were. But still. They are big compared to the other two – especially Marnie, who may not be itty bitty for a Chihuahua, is pretty darn tiny compared to the rest of them. In no other breed is size so wide spread. Can you imagine another where you can show a dog who is 1/3 the size of another both in the same breed? The vet said they are both in great condition, and was impressed by their temperaments as well. What can I say, the girls are awesome!
We’re laying in bed, snuggled up together. She eating a bedtime snack of applesauce. Me reading our nightly chapters. We’re on page 140-something of Aphrodite the Diva (one of the Goddess Girls books by Joan Holub and Suzanne Williams).
Aphrodite is holding a contest for the mortal girls of Greece, when Lily-Ann exclaims “Hey!”
“Hey what?” say I.
“There can be two Goddesses of Love! Aphrodite is the Goddess of love for the Greeks, and Isis is the Goddess of love for the Egyptians. They don’t have to fight, they can both be the Goddess Girls of love!”
“Oh my goodness!” I marvel at her wit, “You’re right. I wonder what will happen next in the book. Do you think they might figure that out?”
“I don’t know momma. Keep reading!”
Seriously, is there anything more cool than the aha moments of a clever four year old?
A page or so later we read how Aphrodite is confiding in Ares, about how she feels about her part in the Trojan “incident”. When another lightbulb goes off: “Mom! We’ve read about Odysseus before, in another chapter book.”
“That’s right, he fought in the Trojan war. We’ve talked about him a few times, haven’t we?” She nods her head enthusiastically. “It’s neat when we meet the same characters in different books, isn’t it?” She grins and nods again.
Lily-Ann asks “Do you remember the Trojan horse?” the wheels obviously turning, making connections. Then she giggles over the brilliance of Odysseus and the lack of foresight demonstrated by the Trojans.
“I do.” I smile at her and give her side a little tickle. “Should I keep reading?”
We settle back in for some more cuddles and read on.
Is it any wonder this is my favourite time of day?
Whenever WordPress emails me saying someone read a post of mine “and enjoyed it enough to click the ‘Like’ button” all I can think is THEY LIKE ME! THEY REALLY LIKE ME! Because regardless of the fact that Sally Field actually said “…you like me, right now, you like me!” That’s not how folks remember it. And it’s not what you actually did, what you actually said, that people remember. It’s the pop culture, snapshot, of it all that gets remembered.
Hmmm… Now I have a choice. Do I blog about how silly it is that I get all excited knowing someone cared enough to click like, comment, or rate my post? How us bloggers are so very fickle and need our egos stroked constantly? Or do I rant and rail against this pop culture version of ourselves that is likely to be remembered vs. the truth of ourselves? Ooooo… there’s a third choice here. I can turn to YOU, the folks who satisfy that need for attention, and ask you to weigh in. Of course, if I put it out there, if I ask the question, and no-one writes back? That would be crushing. Well… maybe not crushing, but it certainly wouldn’t feel good.
So, perhaps all I’ll leave you with is this, which is something I can admit to identifying with:
“I haven’t had an orthodox career, and I’ve wanted more than anything to have your respect. The first time I didn’t feel it, but this time I feel it, and I can’t deny the fact that you like me, right now, you like me!”
- Sally Field’s famous, often misquoted, acceptance speech.
As a parent, I can say we all deserve these types of moments from time to time. Parenting is NOT easy, and so much of what we do is taken for granted. However, the minute WE take our role for granted we stand to cause all sorts of damage. It’s exhausting to be ever mindful of the things you do and say, but every so often a moment occurs that makes it so worth while.
A couple of days ago I had one of those fabulous “YAY ME!” parenting moments. One of those moments where you know you got it right, in spite of it all (or, occasionally in spite of yourself). And you can’t help but pat yourself on the back, mentally anyway.
I was watching the most recent episode of Glee with my husband while kid-kid was playing near by. Hearing them begin a song she rushed over (she loves to dance and sing along – when it’s one she knows). Afterwards she asked who Mercedes was singing about. I replied “Sam”. It was a love song after all, and the girl just had to have more info. Not a fan of the show herself (she just enjoys the music) she, not knowing who that was, didn’t skip a beat asking me “Is that a boy or a girl?”. All I could think was YAY!
Honestly, the fact that Lily-Ann didn’t automatically assume that since Mercedes is a girl that her love interest would be a boy just made my heart sing. Yep. It was definitely a proud “yay me!” type moment. There is definitely hope for this generation. The fact that it’s a complete non-issue for the kid is such an amazing thing to me. Even though she is inundated with societies vision of a “normal” couple, a boy girl pairing, she knows that other couplings are equally normal and natural. It’s a good thing.
There are certain times, when a person is delivering a certain type of news, when an in person visit should be mandatory. Sometimes a phone call, text, or FB status update just aren’t appropriate ways to deliver tidings. In those situations, lunch, coffee, or just an in person chat, should be mandatory.
- If you are delivering news of a break up, do it in person. It’s uncomfortable, so a meal is not necessary. Just a quick get in, get out, meeting at a coffee shop works.
- If you are sharing news about a negative diagnosis or any kind of medical issues, do it in person. A meal in a quiet restaurant, or take out in your dining room is best. Food and wine always go a long way in situations like these.
- If a family member or loved one has suffered a tragedy or passed from this life, if at all possible that’s an in person encounter if I’ve ever come across one. And this news? There is no way for this to be good. Do it at home, where you’ll both feel comfortable going to pieces.
- If you want to take your relationship to the next level (be it going steady, moving in, getting married, or what-have-you), that’s an in person conversation. And it can happen in almost any context and end up pleasant.
- If you sharing news of your nuptials with individuals who mean a lot to you, but who couldn’t be there (whether you eloped, or just had a tiny service, whatever), totally something you do in person. Invite the other party out to a nice restaurant. Food and wine are definitely in order.
- If you’re having a baby, don’t break that news from a distance. Head out to a nice brunch spot, share something light and yummy, and toast the new bun in your oven with a nice sparkling flavoured water. Hugs, and potentially happy tears, will be shared!
So don’t let your sister find out from your Twitter feed that you’re pregnant, don’t tell your son over the phone that you had a private service and got married, don’t break up with someone via your blog, and don’t let your granddaughter find out you have three months to live by way of BBM. There is just some news that is best delivered in person, whether it’s to share a hug, a toast, or a cry… Certain news simply demands a meet-up.
As the Sparks would say: “Share and Be a Friend”.
We’ve been thinking, for the last year anyway, that it would be really nice if we could work something out to take the kid to Disney World while she’s still young enough for it to be magical. It’s definitely not MY first choice for a vacation, especially one that would cost THAT much. I’m happiest in some remote location, free of tourists, where it is serene and quiet, and there is a real chance for animal encounters… a photographers holiday. But Lily-Ann is only going to be little for so long, and magic slips away so easily… I figure if there is ANY way we can work something like this out while she is still young enough to be lost within it all, then we simply have to try.
Damon and I have been together for 15 and a half years… and we have never gone on a vacation. Not a real one anyway. Not even a honeymoon. We’ve gone places to visit family, or gone camping overnight… but that’s it. So this will be our first trip too. It’s kind of an intimidating idea.
There are just so many things that we really need the money for, it makes it hard to think about spending that kind of cash on something that only lasts for a matter of days. But there are only a few times in a persons life where the magic of a place like Disney World really is pure magic… and that would last forever.
I remember going when I was nine (well… to Disney Land though, not Disney World). And already, by that time, I was very conscious about what was cool and what wasn’t. As much as I wanted to go running up to Chip and Dale, I held back. It wouldn’t have been cool for me to seem impressed by these costumed characters. So I didn’t. At nine, the magic was already waning.
All I know, is that if Lily were there right now? If she saw Ariel and Cinderella? They would really be Ariel and Cinderella! They wouldn’t be women in costume, they would be the real princesses, and it would be magic! If we can find a way to do that, how could we possibly consider not giving her that gift?
So… we’re going to look into a Disney vacation. If we can make it work, and we’re going to give it our very best, then we’re going to do it. Because those things that need our attention will always need our attention, but our little girl won’t always be our little girl, and the magic of a place like Disney World won’t last long.
Post number 600.
I’ve been blogging here for a couple years now, almost daily (generally not on Fridays). 600 posts though, that seems like a lot. Granted I don’t always have something interesting to say. I’ve posted ridiculous things like a snapshot of our refillable slurpee cups at 7-11. But I think I’ve also covered a lot of serious issues too. Generally, I’m happy to log on after putting the girl to sleep, and just share whatever happens to be on my mind… and, as I’ve mentioned, sometimes there’s not a lot there.
My point? Well… I just wanted to say thank you. Thanks for sticking through it with me. Thanks for the “likes”, for the stars, for the comments… thanks for the love.
It’s been a ride! (and no, I’m not going anywhere… just feeling kinda pensive about the whole thing) LMAO