The Kaminski Family – a photography preview

As I was working through some of my enhancements, I realized that it’s been a while since I’d posted a preview here.  I’m terrible for that.  LOL  I go in streaks where I’ll share photos on a regular basis, and then nothing for a good long while.  I’ll try to be more regular about it, but feel free to remind me if you haven’t seen anything for a while.  I am shooting, I just don’t always think to share on the blog.

I enjoyed working with the Kaminski’s.  Any chance to work with a family that includes four leggers as well as two leggers is always a good time.  No, working with animals isn’t easy, but it’s a challenge I really enjoy.  I know dogs, I love dogs…  and I’m perfectly content to wait for them to give me exactly what I need.  Hmmm…  clearly I’m too tired to be writing this blog post as I’ve completely lost my train of thought.  It’s just one of those days – and I have a feeling it will be one of those weeks.  Gotta love getting ready (physically and mentally) for an out of town dog show.

Ah!  Speaking of which!

I’ll be in Regina this weekend.  And I may have time to fit in ONE more photo shoot.  So if you’d like to grab that slot, drop me a line by filling out the booking form at TD Photography (http://photography.tobi-dawne.com/) as soon as possible, and I’ll do my best to work it out.  As I’ll be in Regina already, there will be no additional travel expenses to cover.  Just the regular session fee.  But better be quick!  Like I said, I’ll only have time for ONE additional shoot.

Okay, onto the preview:

This slideshow requires JavaScript.

A2Z – Yon Zealots

 

Okay, it’s obvious I’m reaching pretty far this time.  But it’s April 30th, the last day of the A to Z challenge, and I had to find a way to pull together a title with both a Y and a Z.  I thought about Yonder Zenith – but really, that’s just as far a reach. 

In any movement of importance, there are always zealots, and they never bring a level head or a spirit of cooperation with them.  So while our ideals may speak to equality and acceptance, we do need to keep an eye out and guard our hearts and minds against those who take these notions and force them upon people.  Because, in doing so, we’ve turned against equality and acceptance.

Do I advocate accepting a society that treats you as “less than”?  Definitely not.  But we do need to accept those who would try to force you into their mold of what a man or woman should be.  We don’t need to accept their condemnation or bow to their will, but in accepting them for what they are, we can move past them knowing that we don’t need them or their acceptance.  It can be a confusing idea.  But but ultimately, when we accept others for what they are, even if we don’t necessarily agree with them, we free ourselves of the constraints they’d harness us with.

So, my last message for you during this month of discovery on the topic of sexual and gender identity?  It goes back to the letter A, with the word acceptance.  Just as we can free ourselves of the restraints others would place on us by simply accepting them as they are (and thus not giving them power they don’t deserve), we can claim our own power by accepting ourselves as we are.

Accept yourself, and find the freedom and love you so rightly deserve!

A2Z – Removing Stigma while Reintegrating Socially

So yeah…  it’s Friday, and here I am… blogging.  I know, I know.  I don’t blog on Fridays.  But I’m breaking my rule tonight with a double letter post.  That’s right, here we are with R and S…  and all so that T will fall on the 21st.  LMAO  Not sure why that’s important?  Well, just make sure you come back tomorrow.    Now, onto Removing Stigma while Reintegrating Socially!

I’ll admit, I’ve never had to come out to my family and friends as being a different sex or gender than I was assigned with at birth.  For that?  I feel very blessed.  I can only imagine how difficult it would be, and how brave you would have to be.  Coming out to yourself, and finding who you are when it doesn’t match who you’ve been told you are takes courage, but then going even further and coming out to everyone who knew the OLD you?  That takes big freakin’ brass balls.  And I have SOOO much respect and admiration for all of my Trans brothers and sisters.  It’s hard enough to live authentically in our world, but to live authentically when you face that type of obstacle?  It takes someone who is amazing: amazing, incredible, and fierce!

After all that?  Well, the good news?  Stigma just falls away when you get to that point.  When you are ready to take your life back and live for YOURSELF?  Your TRUE self?  Then anyone who matters will be so in awe of everything you went through to get there that the only thing there will be LOADS of freakin’ respect.

No, that doesn’t mean it will be all roses.  There are going to be asses in your life that will make things hard, and they may even make you question everything you’ve lived through up until that point…  but cling to the fact that you are amazing, and that you DESERVE to be yourself.  You have a right to live the truth, to be who you are, and to do so surrounded by people who get just how long of a journey authenticity can be.  So forget the h8rs, you don’t need them, and be gentle with those who are trying (but may occasionally misuse a pronoun or old name) they’re worth the reminders.  It won’t be easy, but once you get there it is SOOO worth it.

Nothing but love!

And know you aren’t alone.  If you are in Saskatchewan, check out TransSask at http://www.transsask.org/ and if not, check out some of the resources listed in my A2Z Community post.  Building a community of people who love and support you is one of the best things you can do for yourself!

A2Z – Love & Marriage

 

I’ve been out sick the last couple of days, and am just as sick today as I was yesterday…  so really shouldn’t be blogging at all.  BUT I hate to miss a deadline, even a self imposed one.  I knew I could fit L and M into one post, and as long as it went up on Sunday I’d still be on schedule for the Alphabet Blog Challenge.  Of course, I figured all this out on Friday afternoon, when I figured I’d b all shiny by Sunday.  And now it’s Sunday.  And the last thing I want to be doing is blogging.  Seriously.

Being sick sucks.  But want to know what makes it easier to get through?  Knowing I have the love of someone who will see me through it all… someone who doesn’t care if I’m dripping mucus from every orifice, sinuses unloading in all sorts of unattractive, downright, inhuman ways…  And you know what sucks?  Knowing that some people are denied this same gooey “stand by me” melodrama that marriage provides.

Sure, you can stand by someone without a contract (and lets face it, when you get down to brass tacks that is what marriage is), and for those who are content doing so without?  Well, I think that’s great!  In fact, I know some happily unmarried folks who have been in a state of unwedded bliss for almost as long as I’ve been alive.  However, for those who WANT to be married, they should have the same right to do so as anyone.  Some chicks marry chicks, some doods marry doods… get over it people.

I, for one, am glad this is one area in which the Canadian government hasn’t seriously screwed over it’s people.  This is one thing which they’ve gotten very right.  It shouldn’t matter what parts a person has, love and marriage are about what’s in your HEART not what’s in your PANTS.  And now that I’ve made my point?  I’m closing up my computer, and crawling back into my flu-induced stupor, feeling much better for NOT having missed my deadline.

A2Z – Expression

 

Okay…  today I’m going to again share my gingerbread cookie drawing.  The one I did to accompany my session at Breaking the Silence.  I think it explains the basics of Expression, Gender, Assigned Sex, Sex, Sexual Desire, and Affection rather well.  After all, that’s the entire reason I created it.

So…  at it’s most basic?  Expression is “all this” – and if you could see me you’d see me waving my hands and fingers over my entire body from my head to my toes and everywhere in between.  It doesn’t exactly translate the same way to a blog post as it does when I do it in person.    Your outward expression of gender doesn’t have to match your assigned sex, your actual sex, or any particular gender.  It just just how you feel like presenting yourself at any given time – and there is no wrong way to express yourself.

I have to be honest.  I’m kinda glad we’re on “E” with this challenge.  Sure, my blog posts have been really fast and easy to write since the challenge started.  I find this type of thing really easy to talk about.  It helps that I talk about it with such a range of people on a day to day basis.  From toddlers to teachers, I talk about orientation a lot and in a lot of different ways.  So writing about it comes fast and easy.  But I miss the challenge that comes from writing about myself and following the whim of my muse.

It really is a far greater challenge to share about important parts of my day, and how those things led to moments of self discovery or laughter.  Sure, it means I end up with the occasional “sorry for being so boring today” post.  But generally, it’s a very satisfying part of my day.  It allows me time to put everything into perspective.  It is time for me to reflect on the days joy or frustrations.

Expression.

That’s really what this blog is all about.  It’s about my expression of self.  What I feel, who I am, what’s important to me on any given day.  And this challenge, to a degree, has robbed me of that.  It’s a good thing this is such an important topic or I’d be likely to scrap the whole darn thing at this point. 

Expression.

It is an exceedingly important part of who we are.  Without it?  (get ready for the exceptionally geeky reference dead ahead)  We might as well be assimilated by the Borg.  Taken into the collective, sharing a mind…

Expression.

It’s easy to think of it as the least of the parts that makes up our orientation, but when it is robbed from you?  It’s easy to see it as potentially the most important.  Without it, we are but shades of ourselves…  lost, and without the will to communicate.

So value your ability to express yourself, through the way you look, the things you do, how you interact with others…  Express yourself freely and without regret.  BE WHO YOU WANT TO BE!  Be the very best you, you know how to be, and inspire others to do the same.

 

Family is Magic!

I’ve got lots that I could be sharing tonight.  My mind is abuzz with possibilities and current happenings.  LOL  But, instead… mostly because along with that busy, busy brain comes a tired, tired body …I’ll share another piece of art I commissioned from a fellow artisan at Deviant Art.

I know I’ve talked about sharing a love of My Little Pony with my daughter, and I know I’ve done so on at least a few occasions.  There really is nothing better than sharing something you love with someone you love – and MLPs?  That’s our thing, the kids and mine.    So, when I saw this individuals work, I just knew I had to commission her to do a family portrait of us as ponies.  So the girlie is Fairy Berry (the pony is completely her creation, her name, her colours, the kid’s creation totally and completely) and I’m Prairie Lily.

Now…  Damon?  He’s not so into the ponies.  LOL  He watches Thundercats and He-man with us, and he will watch Friendship is Magic.  But it’s really not his thing.  Thankfully?  The kid took care of that.

Months ago now, she nick named her Daddy “Big Macintosh”.  And, well…  it just kinda fits.  LOL  He’s a Mac computer guy, he manages a produce department, he’s not a big talker with those who don’t know him well, and his favourite colour is red.  So I started calling him our “Big Macintosh” too.

Anyway, onto the family portrait.  It’s of us, as ponies.  Fairy Berry, Prairie Lily, and Big Macintosh:

My thanks to Lady Yumika, for this lovely, true to the G4 FiM line, pony family portrait.  I think it’s absolutely adorable, and the kid couldn’t be more thrilled – and that’s really what it’s all about for me. 

Dear Lady in the Women’s Bathroom – Ivan Coyote

Some of you may already be familiar with this piece.  It was something Ivan E Coyote wrote for her column in Xtra.  I remember reading it, and applauding it at the time.

For those of you who have never had to stop before going into a public washroom and consciously make a choice which door to walk into, be thankful.  It’s not an easy choice to make.  A person takes their safety into their own hands every time they walk into a public washroom, especially when the individuals on the other side of the door may not agree with their choice.  We don’t all fit neatly into one gender box or another – nor should we have to.  So here is Ivan, on being shrieked at, on life in the gender variant spectrum, on discrimination, and on compassion:

It’s well worth the watch folks, whether or not you’ve read the personal essay that ran in Xtra.

Wordless Wursday?

Yeah, yeah…  I know it’s supposed to be “Wordless Wednesday”, but it’s Thursday…  and I’m tired.  So let’s say, just for this once, that Thursday is Wursday.  And this, my good readers, is Wordless Wursday.

Here’s a picture of my daughter as a cat:

“I’ll love you forever”

“Mommy, can you hold my hand?”

“Of course I can.”  pause.  “I really am a very lucky Mommy.”

“I know, and I’m a lucky daughter.”

“I’ll love you forever.”

“And I’ll love you even more than forever.”

I give the girlie’s hand a squeeze in reply, and within minutes – the two of us lying in bed together in the dark – she’s asleep.

I really am a very lucky mommy.  No matter how crazy our day has been, or how much trouble either one of us has gotten in, I can count on an amazing nighttime exchange that recharges and refuels my soul.  My wish for every parent is for these types of small moments, the moments that speak to us and create lasting change within us.  Hold your little ones close, as we all know, they’ll be gone too quickly and the sweetness will give way to eye rolls and slumped shoulders…  but even then, I’ll still be a lucky mommy.  With so much wrong in our world, it’s nice to know this little piece of all that is right, is mine.

"Multiple Measure Rest" - February 9th 2010

 

 

One of those fabulous “yay me!” parenting moments.

As a parent, I can say we all deserve these types of moments from time to time.  Parenting is NOT easy, and so much of what we do is taken for granted.  However, the minute WE take our role for granted we stand to cause all sorts of damage.  It’s exhausting to be ever mindful of the things you do and say, but every so often a moment occurs that makes it so worth while.

A couple of days ago I had one of those fabulous “YAY ME!” parenting moments.  One of those moments where you know you got it right, in spite of it all (or, occasionally in spite of yourself).  And you can’t help but pat yourself on the back, mentally anyway.

I was watching the most recent episode of Glee with my husband while kid-kid was playing near by.  Hearing them begin a song she rushed over (she loves to dance and sing along – when it’s one she knows).  Afterwards she asked who Mercedes was singing about.  I replied “Sam”.  It was a love song after all, and the girl just had to have more info.  Not a fan of the show herself (she just enjoys the music) she, not knowing who that was, didn’t skip a beat asking me “Is that a boy or a girl?”.  All I could think was YAY!

Honestly, the fact that Lily-Ann didn’t automatically assume that since Mercedes is a girl that her love interest would be a boy just made my heart sing.  Yep.  It was definitely a proud “yay me!” type moment.  There is definitely hope for this generation.  The fact that it’s a complete non-issue for the kid is such an amazing thing to me.  Even though she is inundated with societies vision of a “normal” couple, a boy girl pairing, she knows that other couplings are equally normal and natural.  It’s a good thing.