“Not a Girl”

I am often astonished by ignorance.  I shouldn’t be.  You’d think, at some point, I’d get used to it…  but I don’t.  Ignorance always astounds me.

One of my friends recently posted a picture on her profile, she looked absolutely smashing!  Yet one of the first comments posted insisted that she was “not a girl” and went on to list all the reasons why she’d never “pass” as female.  This particular friend, despite the ignorance displayed by this commenter, held her head high, and exhibited more poise than I’d have mustered.  She knows this individual may not ever truly accept her for who she is, yet she still shows nothing but kindness and love towards them…  and THAT, above all else, screams of Womanly grace.

Why must we hold Women, and girls, to such high standards?  Are we not all people?  Do we not all have faults?  Why must we be bombarded by the tabloid version of feminine beauty?  And why, oh why, must there be jerks out there who feel that is the way it SHOULD be???

What makes a person a Woman?  Is it her uterus?  Is it her breasts?  Is it her soft facial features?  Or is it her strength?

Women are powerful, women are beautiful.  Women are amazing.  And there is no definition of “Woman” that you can give that would be acceptable to me.

I am a proud third-wave feminist.  And I believe that Women cannot be boxed up, put on a shelf, and slapped with a definitive label…  And anyone who tries to do just that does a greater harm to themselves than they could ever do to us.

Gabrielle?  This post is for you.  You are beautiful, you are strong…  And he’s right, you’re not a girl…  you are a WOMAN!

BTW, when my daughter saw this picture she said “Wow!  She looks like a girl from the movies!”  🙂

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About Tobi-Dawne

Tobi-Dawne Smith is many things to many people... photographer, canine behaviour expert, equal rights activist, green politician, lactivist, intactivist, writer, crafter, dog handler, third wave feminist, etc. But most important in her life is her role as mother to an amazing five year old. Learn more about TD at http://www.tobi-dawne.com/ follow her blog at https://td365.wordpress.com/ get to know her daughter at http://lilyannslemonade.wordpress.com/ or check out her work at http://tdphotography.me/

Posted on February 25, 2011, in Feminism, Just a Note, LGBTTQ, Our World, People and tagged , , , , , , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink. 3 Comments.

  1. This piece is dead on… I also identify as a feminist. It is hard for me to see some of the messages that are out there for women. Most of the times they are subtle social policies or bombardment of mass media ideals of what a woman should or should not be. I could really get in depth but will leave it at that. Kudos to you on this post.

  2. Your daughter must be blind.

    • I seriously considered deleting this comment, but instead I’ll address it…

      My daughter, like all children, ARE blind. Blind to the ignorance that is instilled by the mass media, blind to the ignorance that is instilled by bigoted adults, blind to the ignorance that says boys should be one way and girls should be another… And we could ALL use a little more of that. How wonderful a world we would live in if we all saw one another as children see each other… open, honest, and with no guises. You say my daughter is blind, I answer you thusly: She may be blind, but she is better for it, and I am filled with pride because of it.

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