Are you exhausting?

Some folks are absolutely exhausting. And I don’t mean in the way that the girlie is exhausting (where she’ll tire you out, but you are left feeling nothing but love).  I mean put your soul through the wringer, tough to deal with, leave you wanting to sleep for six days straight, exhausting.  I would say “you know who you are”, but I’m not really sure that’s the case.

I’m sure some folks know that they are super demanding and tough to deal with, but I’m also sure there are at least as many out there who have no idea.  And they may be people you love, but they just leave you feeling like you have nothing left to offer yourself (let alone anyone else).  So how do you know if you leave folks wanting to crawl into a hole for days on end?  I’m not sure.  Gads!  I hope I’m not one of those people.  Would you tell me if I were???

I’ll admit, I’m high maintenance when it comes to romantic relationships.  I’m hard on Damon, I expect a lot from him, but I do try to make sure he knows how much I appreciate and love him.  I don’t let a day go by without both saying it and showing it.  So I may be high maintenance, but I don’t think I’m a soul-leech.

So.  How do you know if you are a drain on others?  And why am I stuck on this topic tonight?  LOL  Well…  I’m feeling drained, and it just got me thinking about it.  I normally love pretty much everything about photography, even the business end of things.  But every so often you run into a client that just leaves you feeling like you are laying out in the desert, burned out to the point where even the scavengers aren’t interested in trying to chew through your weathered, leathery skin.  Even one email just leaves you tired.  But I certainly wouldn’t give it up.

For that ONE person, there’s got to be at least a dozen (if not two or three dozen) people who just make it all so worth while.  Families so full of love that it spills out to all those around them.  People with spirits so vibrant that I fear I’ll need to buy a special filter for my camera so they don’t leave it damaged.  Couples so delightful that they’d brighten even the cloudiest days, by simply chasing the drizzles away with their radiant smiles.

So yeah…  I’m worn out tonight, beat, tired.  Or, well…  I was.  But then I remembered all the incredible folks who make it SOOO very worth it.  And now?  I’m sitting here grinning like an idiot.  An idiot who is completely content and happy with her lot in life.

Night all!



About Tobi-Dawne

Tobi-Dawne Smith is many things to many people... photographer, canine behaviour expert, equal rights activist, green politician, lactivist, intactivist, writer, crafter, dog handler, third wave feminist, etc. But most important in her life is her role as mother to an amazing five year old. Learn more about TD at follow her blog at get to know her daughter at or check out her work at

Posted on March 2, 2011, in Joy Journey, Just a Note, People and tagged , , , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink. 2 Comments.

  1. All part of business…. take a deep breath and when the job is done, you will feel rewarded. And yes, for every headache, there are a whole bunch who are wonderful 🙂 Take it in stride and you’ll be a success!

  2. I think psychic vampires (that’s the slang for this) don’t care. If they cared, they’d not be psychic vampires. so even though you could tell them, they’d shove your words to the side in a hail of recrimination and defense. They’re so innately selfish they don’t even realize it’s a problem. They have such a shallow layer of emotion they don’t feel where it really counts, for whatever reason, and they suck suck suck on the attention and control they have from other people.
    I did once battle one. Four of us sitting in a restaurant booth. The vampire was sucking the life out of us three. You could see it happen. The talk, which had been animated, grew stilted and hesitant, as he grew more mellifluous and bold. I mentally imagined myself sucking his life force. I pictured it, drawing to me silently the ribbon of silver that is the soul’s output. He grew quieter and the others grew brighter. After a time, the vampire excused himself and went off to pursue whatever activity he’d thought of, leaving us feeling lighter and softer and freer. The others around the table all agreed that he was such a vampire, but nobody knew what I had done and I didn’t bother to tell them.
    It’s not like people believe this shit.

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