Well…  initially I was going to share a photography preview tonight, but then I had some read/write errors with one of my hard drives.  Don’t worry, we got it all cleared up, ran out and purchased a new external drive to replace the one that (totally out of the blue) began having issues, and are transferring all photographs to the new drive now.  Unfortunately that means no photographs to share – at least not tonight.  The transfer will probably finish up in the afternoon tomorrow – it’s a big drive with a ton of photoshoots stored on it.  So…  that postpones my initial plans for tonight’s blog.  Expect pictures tomorrow.  😉

Tonight then, let’s jump on board a new meme I’ve discovered:

Happenings of the Harper Household

This week they’re discussing piercing an infant’s ears.  Wanna guess what side of the debate I fall on?  It’s no secret I’m against any type of body modification for babies/children…  hence my newest made-up word (new to the blog? I make up a lot of words):  babymodification.  It’s just like body modification but baby specific.  And it’s SOOOO not okay.

Circumcision (male or female), piercing, sexual assignment (or reassignment) surgery… none of it is okay when performed on an infant or child.  It’s not YOUR body, and these are not your choices to make.  Is it a contr0vercial subject that gets heated on all sides?  You bet.  Am I the type to back down just because my views may ruffle some feathers?  Heck no.

The one argument I see time and time again for any babymodification is that we have the right to do what we’d like with our children.  And to that, all I can ever say is:  WOW!  Seriously, just wow.  That argument just doesn’t float.  And honestly?  We don’t have the right to do as we’d please with our own children (not in all instances) – nor should we.  The law steps in on many issues when it comes to child safety, and for me?  I think that babymodification is yet another where we need to offer more protection to children vs their parents.

No matter what the argument that gets put forth, for any type of babymodification, what it really comes down to is the fact that it is not OUR body.  I have pierced ears (in fact, they are more than pierced, they have 4g spirals through them presently), I also have a tattoo, I’ve also undergone breast surgery (reduction, if you’re the nosy type)…  do I think I have the right to insist on ANY of these things for my child just because I’ve done them?  Heck no.  My daughter’s body is her own.  And if she makes the choice to do any of these things (or others) when she’s old enough to make those decisions for herself, then all the more power to her.  It’s her body, it’s her choice.  So it should be for every child.


There are a lot of arguments on either side of the piercing debate, but honestly that’s what it ultimately comes down to.  It’s not our right to modify our children based on our own personal preferences.  Their body, their choice.  It’s about respecting the freedoms and rights of every individual to make these decisions for themselves.  We should respect our children enough to allow them to get through childhood without unnecessary, cosmetic, modifications.


About Tobi-Dawne

Tobi-Dawne Smith is many things to many people... photographer, canine behaviour expert, equal rights activist, green politician, lactivist, intactivist, writer, crafter, dog handler, third wave feminist, etc. But most important in her life is her role as mother to an amazing five year old. Learn more about TD at follow her blog at get to know her daughter at or check out her work at

Posted on November 15, 2011, in Family, Feminism, Just a Note, lgbt, LGBTTQ, Parenting, Politics and tagged , , , , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink. 10 Comments.

  1. When is one old enough to make a choice about their body? Another better question when do choices about ones body stop being one’s parent’s?

    Graduated choices I am sure. With our son we let him make his own choices on his hair from the time he could voice an opinion, its just hair right?

    • Definitely with you on the hair. The girlie has been making her own choices there for a couple years already. LOL And I have to admit, she makes some cool ones. We wouldn’t have tried hair tinsel or feather extensions if it hadn’t been for her interest in them… we’re both sporting our second set of feathers (and I just ordered a bunch more too). I do have to admit though, I said she needs to wait until she’s five to get purple streaks. LMAO

      • I think I have purple temp dye…. Dylyn has been shaved bald, had tic tak toe done in his hair… that tanned in and was cool when we shaved it off. black dye in grade 3, a genuine barber brush-cut

      • Even with temporary colour, we’d still likely have to bleach the strands she’d want to turn purple. Red hair won’t take a purple rinse well… so I’m hoping by the time she’s five she might be willing to just have acrylic extensions added instead. LOL

  2. I couldn’t agree more about the pierced ears. I cringe whenever I see a baby girl with earrings. It’s not only imposing your standard of beauty on her and babymodification (love the term) against her will, it’s just not necessary. Babies are beautiful without all the bling. Let your daughter look like a baby for a while. There’ll be plenty of time for her to glam herself up when she gets older.

  3. Thanks so much for linking up with us! I totally agree with you. My daughter’s body is not MY body and I have no right to modify it how I see fit. Hope to see you on our linky again this week!

  4. could try the blue… warn me when she starts reading your blog ok?

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