A2Z – Defining Ourselves

Blogging our way from A to Z on sexual and gender identity - defining ourselves

There is something to be said for having such a handle on who you are that you can take a glance in the mirror and say “There I am.  I am _____.”  Personally I don’t know what it’s like.  I’ve never fit neatly into a little box.  Life is messy, and so am I.  I’ve tried to stuff my vast and varied parts into an easily labeled box…  I tried for many, many years to stuff myself into one.  But there were always parts hanging out, keeping the lid only half covering the contents.  I’ve come to be grateful for it though, as I’ve come to accept myself.  That unclosing lid is what kept me breathing.  I think I’d likely have smothered if I’d managed to get it on tightly.

There is this drive, this need in our society, to define ourselves.  Like I said, I suffered from it myself for many years.  Now though?  I really don’t get it.

The minute we can slap a label on that box (whether the box represents others or ourselves) we can put it up on a shelf and forget about it.  When a box has a label on it, we don’t need to dig any deeper.  We don’t need to slowly discover it’s contents.  We rob ourselves of that joy.  Discovery, let’s be honest, really is a joy.  And self discovery?  It’s even more so.

Accept yourself as you are, and if you need a label, there are many out there.  Take which one fits when you need it, and discard it when it no longer does.  Allow yourself the discovery, and allow those around you the same.  You are worth the time it takes to really get to know you.  You are worth the joy of a slow reveal, the slow clap, the slow motion entrance.  Grab that 80’s teen flick moment and just run with it!  Be pretty in pink!

The girl and I, all dressed in matching outfits for Pink Revolution, the anti-bullying week here in Saskatchewan.

The kid and I, pretty in pink, celebrating Pink Revolution today.

LMAO  Okay, yes, super eye-roll-causing segway…  but I HAD to get in this photo of the kid and I – all dressed in our matching duds – as we headed out for the walk to school.  🙂  And while it was a seriously dorky way to lead into the photo that doesn’t take away from the truth of it.

The minute you accept yourself as you are, and stop searching for a way to squish yourself into a nice neat box you’ll find your world will open up in ways you didn’t expect.  You really are worth the joy that comes from slowly discovering all the glorious mysteries that make up that amazing package – don’t deny yourself that pleasure.  Don’t slap on the first definition that seems like it just might fit okay.  There is no rush.  You have your entire lifetime to discover yourself, and those who are worthwhile in your life?  They’ll happily take that time too.

the april a to z blog challenge

Advertisements

About Tobi-Dawne

Tobi-Dawne Smith is many things to many people... photographer, canine behaviour expert, equal rights activist, green politician, lactivist, intactivist, writer, crafter, dog handler, third wave feminist, etc. But most important in her life is her role as mother to an amazing five year old. Learn more about TD at http://www.tobi-dawne.com/ follow her blog at https://td365.wordpress.com/ get to know her daughter at http://lilyannslemonade.wordpress.com/ or check out her work at http://tdphotography.me/

Posted on April 4, 2012, in AtoZchallenge, Family, gender variant, iPhone, Joy Journey, lgbt, LGBTTQ, Our World, Parenting, People, Wee Girlie and tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink. 6 Comments.

  1. I had to reference “slow clap” to find a definition that fit the context. I learnt.

  2. “Labels are for cans, not people.”
    Anthony Rapp

    You’re so right – we are very quick to label people – I don’t think we label ourself .. or do we.
    I think we all are happy with what we are – but it’s what is around that says that maybe we are not good enough and then we start think .. maybe I aren’t good enough for what ever reason.
    Great post and a lovely picture of you two. Happy mum and very happy little girl.

    • LOL Thank you. Very happy mom and super happy kid. We’re a great team, she and I. 🙂

      And we definitely label ourselves. Every time we are introduced to someone new, every time we write an “all about me” paragraph somewhere online… we are asked to label and define ourselves constantly. It’s a tough thing.

  3. Wonderful post, and so true!! I’m just now finally figuring these things out, and it’s been a great eye opener for me. Beautiful pic of you and your little one, too. 🙂

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: