A2Z – Family

Blogging our way from A to Z on sexual and gender identity - Family

One of the most difficult things in the world is coming out to our families.  There is so much emotion wrapped up there, that it can be hard to separate our own fears from reality.  And listening to the coming out stories from previous generations only reinforces that sense of fear.

I had the privilege of serving as coordinator for a youth retreat last Summer, for Sexual Minority, Gender Variant youth.  During an exercise led by our Artist-in-Residence, Spencer J. Harrison we all got the chance to share coming out stories while in small groups.  One young man’s story in particular made me cry – and not for reasons you might suspect.

At first he didn’t feel he should contribute to the discussion, he didn’t feel that his story was worthy of sharing.  Upon encouragement, he opened up and told his story.  The story of coming out to a family who loved him and supported him – a family to which it didn’t matter what his orientation was.  Unwavering love and reassurance.  And that is what moved me to tears.

More and more people are realizing that orientation doesn’t matter, a person’s sexual desires don’t change who they are as a person.  More and more families find it easy to accept the idea that one of their children may be pansexual, bisexual, asexual, homosexual et al.  More and more young people have GOOD stories to share – and those stories are so worth hearing.  And in those instances where the outcome isn’t so positive?  That’s where community comes in.

If your family doesn’t accept you for who you are, they don’t deserve you.  Family is a choice, and is built on love.  So whether family of blood or family of choice – surround yourself with people who know how amazing you are.  Because you really are incredible!



a to z, april blog challenge

About Tobi-Dawne

Tobi-Dawne Smith is many things to many people... photographer, canine behaviour expert, equal rights activist, green politician, lactivist, intactivist, writer, crafter, dog handler, third wave feminist, etc. But most important in her life is her role as mother to an amazing five year old. Learn more about TD at http://www.tobi-dawne.com/ follow her blog at https://td365.wordpress.com/ get to know her daughter at http://lilyannslemonade.wordpress.com/ or check out her work at http://tdphotography.me/

Posted on April 7, 2012, in AtoZchallenge, camp fyrefly, Family, gender variant, lgbt, LGBTTQ, Parenting, People and tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink. 4 Comments.

  1. Wish it was so simple … that is our families don’t accept us the way we are of any reason – they don’t deserve us. Still family is family and we need them on our way through life – so to not get your family support and love, is a massive lost for any of us. They are the way they are too!

    • If a person is toxic and hateful, you don’t have to keep them in your life – family or not. Of course it’s a loss, but that loss is theirs. Perhaps one day that individual will realize their mistakes and make a change, but until then your energies are better spent elsewhere.

      • yes, you’re right – but still … it’s not so easy and that black and white for all of us. If life was that simple .. none of us would have any problems and no worries.

      • I never said it was an easy thing. And nothing in life is ever “black and white”. The fact of the matter is, though, in spite of how difficult it may be, having someone in your life who does nothing but belittle you and bring you down benefits no-one. Not that person, not you. Sometimes the best choice a person can make is to walk away. And whether that person is a relative or not has little bearing on the situation. People need to make hard choices, but sometimes those choices lighten the load they carry in enormous ways.

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