A2Z – Kinship

Blogging our way from A to Z on issues of sexual and gender identity - K is for Kinship


The acronym community is vast and varied, full of many types of people with a wide range of beliefs.  Yet some folk seem to think that there should be this instant kinship or camaraderie between all LGBTT2QIA individuals.  The fact is, kinship is a choice, and often something you have to work at.

In this day and age there is a huge separation in class amongst gender variant and sexual minority individuals.  There are some who believe the fight is over and we have won.  This is especially prevaelent among upper class, white, gay men in their 40s… there is an entire subculture made up of the “suburbian gay”.  We fought the good fight, we have marriage equality (in Canada), so now we can go on living our lives of privilege.  It can be hard to find kinship in a population who doesn’t live the fight every day that some of us do.

For my trans brothers and sisters, the fight is especially brutal today…  and it is just beginning to get the focus it deserves from some segments of the media.  Transphobia is alive and well, I am afraid to say.  And it can be found even in the hearts of those who claim to be allies of the community.

So… kinship is not as easy as one would think.  Finding a kindred spirit is, as always, a difficult and amazing thing.  So when you do find someone with whom you share that instant connection, don’t let them go.  They are worth fighting for.

And yes, I realize this post ended up being a little rambley.  My head is fuzzy thanks to a cold…  and even a neti pot isn’t about to save the cloud that is inhabiting my brain.

So yeah…  my point…  Kinship.  It really is a choice.  You can decide to find it, even amongst a diverse population, or you can create for yourself an island – big enough for one.  But that is a very lonely place to be.


the april alphabet blog challenge.  blog your way through the alphabet, one letter at a time.


About Tobi-Dawne

Tobi-Dawne Smith is many things to many people... photographer, canine behaviour expert, equal rights activist, green politician, lactivist, intactivist, writer, crafter, dog handler, third wave feminist, etc. But most important in her life is her role as mother to an amazing five year old. Learn more about TD at http://www.tobi-dawne.com/ follow her blog at https://td365.wordpress.com/ get to know her daughter at http://lilyannslemonade.wordpress.com/ or check out her work at http://tdphotography.me/

Posted on April 12, 2012, in AtoZchallenge, gender variant, lgbt, LGBTTQ, People and tagged , , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink. 3 Comments.

  1. Maybe I’m a bit ignorant here – “the fight is especially brutal today” – I thought that the world out there was more liberal then this … or maybe it’s because I live in Sweden that I’m not ware of this “brutal fight” – maybe we have passed this. Have gay friends and they haven’t ever talked about that they had to fight for getting accepted. Know that we have people over here too that don’t accept – but there is not a fight ?????!!!. Or is’t because I don’t know. We have the hate too. Would say that 98% of Swedes accept.

    • As I mentioned, GAY is different than TRANS. And the fight for equality has really just begun. All you have to do is scan the headlines online to see the evidence. There are individuals who are beaten, or even killed, on a regular basis… all for having the nerve to live an authentic life. It’s true that things have gotten better, but we are a LONG way from being where we should be.

      • Okay … maybe there is a difference in cultures to .. between your country and mine. I’m sure there people beaten for many reasons; religion, skin color and sexuality – what every reason it’s not acceptable – even for being old people has been killed and beaten. We have imported violence as entertainment today; films, games … the can show how a woman is beaten on TV, but they can’t show a naked breast ???

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