Biting me in the ass: a blessing of pregnancy

People often talk about the joys of pregnancy, birth, and parenting…  very often forgetting the tribulations, pains, and trials of each.  And with good reason.  Those joys far outweigh the negatives in almost every circumstance.  However, some pains deserve mentioning, some pains which get horribly overlooked, and are considered by polite society as being unmentionable.

Yes, this is going to be one of those TMI posts.  So, if you don’t want to read about the gross, the bloody, and the unpleasant?  Stop reading now.  Here.  Here’s a picture of the kid, all sweet and lovely in the new tutu I made for her:

Oh so sweet and darling in her pretty pink and white tutu, I love kid-kid!

 

So now that you’ve had your candy, sweet and full of sugar (but blessedly free of high fructose corn syrup)…  it’s onto the nasties I promised earlier.  That’s right.  Time to look away.  You’ve been warned.

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Still with me?

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Not sure you should be?

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Well…  get ready for it…

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Image of Grade Two Hemorrhoids ©Prof. Dr. Alexander Herold, 2012

 

Hemorrhoids.

Yep.  I said it.

I totally dropped the H bomb.

But let’s face it, Moms!  It’s one of the things, that for many, comes along with pregnancy and then sticks around afterwards.

Here are a few articles for those of you who WERE blissfully unaware:

http://www.womenshealthcaretopics.com/preg_hemorrhoids.htm

http://www.happy-healthy-pregnancy.com/hemorrhoids-in-pregnancy.html

http://www.amazingpregnancy.com/pregnancy-articles/177.html

The only actual USEFUL page I’ve found though, is this one:

http://www.hemorrhoidshemroids.com/pregnancy-prolapse-hemroids-hemorrhoids.html

Generally speaking, these sites make it sounds as though – in spite of these nasty little bastards being COMMON that they are easy to deal with, not really that unpleasant, and they’ll just disappear when the hemorrhoid fairy visits shortly after birth.  Ummm..  NO!

The very first sign that I was pregnant?  Before morning sickness, before a missed period, before anything?  I got hemorrhoids.  Yep.  Welcome to my world!  And yes, here we are, the girl only a month and a half away from her fifth birthday and that lovely little gift she gave me plagues me to this day.  Would I endure this pain every day for the rest of my life for her?  You bet your freakin’ ass (and apparently I have done just that).

What bothers me is that it’s not okay to talk about things like this.  Mommy brain?  Skin tags?  Stretch marks?  Even the dreaded “mother’s apron” are all okay conversation starters.  But don’t dare drop the H bomb.  Forget polite society, even in the dregs it’s unacceptable.  Yet it’s something SOOO many of us suffer in silence with.  Why?  If this is such a common part of motherhood, why is it a forbidden topic?

I’m sick of hushed voices and embarrassed shushes.  This is part of my life as a mom.  It’s a super “crappy” part of it, but it came part and parcel with my little bundle of joy and energy.  And while I am thankful for her every single day, I do look forward to the day this particular bundle of swollen veins stops biting me in the ass.

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About Tobi-Dawne

Tobi-Dawne Smith is many things to many people... photographer, canine behaviour expert, equal rights activist, green politician, lactivist, intactivist, writer, crafter, dog handler, third wave feminist, etc. But most important in her life is her role as mother to an amazing five year old. Learn more about TD at http://www.tobi-dawne.com/ follow her blog at https://td365.wordpress.com/ get to know her daughter at http://lilyannslemonade.wordpress.com/ or check out her work at http://tdphotography.me/

Posted on June 6, 2012, in Feminism, Parenting and tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink. 8 Comments.

  1. So true .. and it’s not only pregnant women that has this problem … so painful, have a friends that constantly have this, but she don’t want to go to the doctor – to embarrassed.
    Wonderful photo of your little princess … stunning!

    • It’s a common problem, and not just for pregnant women (thank you for pointing that out). It’s an awful thing when shame will keep us from getting the help we need – but it does. And it’s only by being open about things that we will be able to get rid of that embarrassment.

      And thank you. 🙂 I love her to pieces.

  2. I’ll be honest. I never got them… with any of my pregnancies. And there were three. But I totally get that it’s certainly not a conversation starter. Inducement can start a conversation, but certainly not hemroids. Strangely enough, every person has an anus, and thus could potentially get this condition. We should be much more open about our bodies – much like Europe.

    • Europe is definitely ahead of the game when it comes to body acceptance. We still seem stuck in the puritan age with stuff like this, which doesn’t benefit anyone. And I’m glad to know you managed to avoid this particular scurge. 😉

  3. I think there are other parts of pregnancy and delivery that are forbidden topics and I can’t understand why. I once mentioned the mucus plug to someone who was pregnant (it was how I knew I’d be delivering soon) and got these looks like I had just lost my mind.
    Perople kind of expect it from me because I talk about poop too. The body is not a thing designed to embarass you and not talking about some of these things can be hazardous to your health.

    • Over the mucus plug? Really? I thought that one was perfectly acceptable to talk about. LOL But yeah… I’ll openly talk about bowel movements too. So maybe it’s just acceptable to those of us who have chosen to give that particular filter the boot. 😉

  4. To the person who inquired… no that’s not MY anus. LOL it was one with a creative commons license that I found online. I’m not quite THAT brave and out there. 😉

  5. TD: I can’t give you any advice, but I’m with you on this one–and my brat just turned 19!

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