Run down and tired – a parenting rant.

I’ve always looked forward to my evening blog post.  It’s a time to reflect on the day, gather my thoughts, share what’s on my mind – whether it’s something of huge importance or just a little blurb about my life.  Lately though, by the time the girl is asleep in bed beside me, I find I’m too run down and tired to be much in the mood for blogging.

Lily-Ann is a “high need” kid (a term coined by Dr. Sears).  She’s never been easy.  She’s challenging, but oh so worth it.  She’s super bright, creative, head-strong, determined, yet compassionate and full of empathy.  Her emotions are always heightened and many would find them exaggerated – a fact that was nailed home in her report card, which came home right before Easter break.  And all this would be just fine, if she wasn’t such a chip off the old block.

My emotions tend to get so tied up within whatever she’s feeling that I’m just exhausted by the time I’ve laid down with her to read our nightly chapters.  What she feels has always translated directly into what I myself feel.  When she’s happy, I’m happy, when she’s upset, I’m upset.  I honestly can’t see beyond her pain when she’s hurting – and that includes when she’s in the middle of a temper tantrum…  which has been happening on a more and more regular basis in the evenings.

I’m exhausted, and can’t think of anything to write beyond that.

People talk about “the terrible twos”…  Lily-Ann was a BREEZE at two, and good-natured trouble at three.  At four she was everything I could ever have hoped for – and then some.  We’re now at five and a half, and wow!  While I still wouldn’t call her terrible, there are times when she brings out the terrible in all of us.

I’ve got all sorts of parenting skills.  It comes from a lifetime of parenting those around me.  I have multiple siblings who are young enough to be my own children.  I’ve been babysitting since I was ten (which seems crazy in retrospect).  My family ran a daycare when I was a child and a teen.  Parenting just kinda comes naturally.  But even I am left with nothing left after an hour of break-downs over everything including something as trivial as a piece of scrap that missed the wastebasket by 1/2 cm.

Now, I know this will pass.  Every child goes through phases where things are just more than they can handle.  However, while we’re in the middle of this particular tempest?  Blogging isn’t exactly my priority.

And hey!  Advice, ideas, suggestions, and pats on the back are ALL appreciated just now.  I know, as parents, this is something we’ve all faced (or are going to face) at some point.  😛

About Tobi-Dawne

Tobi-Dawne Smith is many things to many people... photographer, canine behaviour expert, equal rights activist, green politician, lactivist, intactivist, writer, crafter, dog handler, third wave feminist, etc. But most important in her life is her role as mother to an amazing five year old. Learn more about TD at follow her blog at get to know her daughter at or check out her work at

Posted on April 2, 2013, in Family, Just a Note, Parenting, Wee Girlie and tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink. 11 Comments.

  1. Awww, honey, I feel your pain. This, too, will pass … but it feels pretty crappy while you’re in the midst of it. Sending hugs your direction!

  2. TD – the tantrums are frustration at her not knowing how to handle the situation. It will pass, though I have one that still does this when she is messing up at school and is already beating herself up at her short comings. Let her know it is ok to miss the basket by .5 millimeters as Magic Johnson wasn’t a basketball star until he was well on in years 😉 It takes practice. As for the meltdowns themselves, sometimes you need to blow steam to keep the kettle from boiling over… at least that is what I explained to my not so little ones when they were little – the trick is knowing what is worth the effort of blowing off steam and what isn’t and that comes with maturity. Either way, I know the too pooped to pop feeling as my littlest is only a year and teething – so not sleeping well. *Hugs* and good vibes headed your way.

    • Thanks Jodi! The girl is so competitive, as someone who isn’t that way at all it never occurred to me that little things like that might stem from her competitive nature. Thanks for that. It helps to have a new way to look at things. I sarcastically “thank” her Daddy for that bit of her personality every day. LMAO It may serve her well in the future, but as a child it’s a very frustrating thing to deal with.

  3. Hugs & Momwriter Juju sent to you. Kids are all different. I know both mine are. So we as mothers, just need to find what works for us and our kids. Here to talk if you need someone.

  4. TD: I literally feel your frustration-I was there. From the time Shayne was eighteen months old until I started home schooling at the age of 12. I faced meltdowns for everything from two “left” socks to the fact I put a smiley face on a cheeseburger. BUT…you know Shayne now and can see it does end and a wonderfully, expressive human being emerges at the other end. Hang in there—and feel more than free to email or PM me and I’ll do my best to talk you through this. ((Hugs))

    • Thank you! I may just take you up on that. The girl really is absolutely amazing, but even with my wealth of experience caring for little ones I sometimes find myself feeling completely ill equipped to handle some of what she throws my way.

      • I was the one put in charge of the kids with emotional issues because of my patience and ability to somehow get through to them–then Shayne came along and I wondered where all that supposed skill and patience went. For some reason, the 24/7 thing kind of makes our patience and such disappear.

  5. No advice, just hugs. Parenting is HARD! 🙂

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