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Missing out, and pouting about it.

So tonight’s blog post brings you a bit of a pity party.  I’m not a happy camper, and I don’t really feel like posting something that’s all nicey nice.  I’m not putting on a happy face, and I’m not going to pretend I feel great about things.  The fact of the matter is, I’m upset and I’m sad, and it’s my damn pity party and I’ll cry if I want to.

With this darn Eustachian Tube Disorder, I’ve been S.O.L. when it comes to driving.  Generally speaking, it tends to be at it’s worst when I’m in a car.  I’m guessing it has to do with the pressure inside the vehicle.  My ears snap crackle and pop a ton, and I find it disorientating and distracting.  I’m also far more likely to hear myself breathing and my heart beating all from within my head.  Driving is just not happening these days – which means I haven’t been hitting the shows.

For those who don’t know me well, I spend my Springs, Summers, and Autumns hitting the shows.  My youngest sister and I pack up my vehicle and we do road trip after road trip, all over the place going to dog shows.  I LOVE handling.  I feel at home in the ring, like I belong there.  I’ve shared here before about how much I love showing, love everything about showing…  and it’s something I sooo look forward to.  It’s chaotic and hectic and filled with WAY too much politics, but I love it.

With this ear issue, I haven’t been to a show since this Spring.  I’m going a little stir crazy.  The one thing that was making it all okay was the Saskatoon show coming up the first weekend of September.  It’s a HOME show.  Which means I don’t have to go road tripping, I don’t have to drive.  It’s a show I can do… and I’ve been clinging to that like a mad-woman.

Today I logged on with the intention of registering Alice, and possibly Marnie too, for the show.  Only, I get to the site to discover entries are closed.  Yep.  They are closed…  and I’m close to tears (the only thing keeping me held together is knowing if I break down and cry the girl is going to ask why, and when I tell her that we can’t go to the dog show she’s going to cry too… because it’s one of only two shows SHE gets to show at every year – and like me, she loves being in the ring).

Why am I so shocked considering the show is fast approaching?  Well, I get a constant influx of emails letting me know when different closing dates are approaching.  That way I don’t miss entering a show that I want to be at.  I never got one for Saskatoon.  If I had?  I’d have damn well got my entries in.

So that’s where we are.  I can’t drive to shows right now.  I can’t even drive around town, no way I can drive for hours to hit the shows.  So the one show I’ve been holding onto attending, the one show left this year that I can still do…  and I missed the entry deadline – by almost a week.  And yes, now that the girl is asleep, I’m in tears.

I wrote to the show secretary, to see if there was ANY way we could still get in.  I explained that I never received the email about the deadline, and how the ETD has made it so I can’t drive to any other shows…  but it’s too late.  Pat was sorry, but there just isn’t anything she can do.  It’s what I expected, but I had to try.

So yeah.  Kind of a lousy day.

I miss my dog shows.

Friendship is Magic and/or Mental Health

I was thinking about the title Friendship is Magic, and while it may not really be magic, it can grant you mental health – which is pretty darn close.  Friends keep you grounded, they kick you in the pants when needed, and provide support when no one else can.  A good friend is like having a mental health provider on your speed dial.  And that, my friends?  That really is magic!

I’ve been stressing out about this whole ear issue of mine (and if you could hear the voice in my head, you’d note I said issue in the very proper British form where you hear the S sound vs the American ishu which is why it appears in italics.  Because while I’m Canadian, and we SHOULD pronounce everything in the proper British way, American English has ended up rather prevalent.  So you KNOW I’m taking pains to bring attention to a word when I pronounce it – even in my head – properly).  I’ve been worrying about the possibility of long term effects, and whether or not I’ll be able to continue with some of my very favourite things.  My health has taken a lot from me over the years, and the idea that something else may be taken away is a whole lot to digest.  When I brought this up with her, she reminded me that while some of my symptoms may be explained by the Eustachian Tube Disorder (and therefore possibly scary and somewhat permanent) that the severity of these same symptoms could be related to other related problems that are just as likely temporary.  Which means while I’m taking a break from one particular favourite activity right now, that things may still get better and I may be able to get back in the saddle (as it were) before too terribly long.  Without a good friend in whom I could confide, I’d still be stressing myself into a tizzy.  I still have a twinge of worry, but I’m definitely feeling better.  Friendship is Magic when it comes to Mental Health!

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Oh!  See http://howjsay.com/index.php?word=issue to hear the difference in pronunciation.  😉

That Freakin’ Ear Troll is Resilient!

Unfortunately the “ear troll” is raging once more…  It had gotten to the point that the pain had subsided.  I still had all the other symptoms, but at least the pain had gotten under control.  Unfortunately I finished my last antibiotic pills on the weekend, and it wasn’t long after that the pain started to creep back in.  I’m on an antibiotic ear drop now, but it looks like I may end up needing a referral to a specialist as the pain is still escalating.  As always, I’ll keep y’all posted on how things are going.  I am feeling super frustrated though.  This has been going on since the fifth, and it’s now the 31st – that’s almost an entire month for something most folk get over within a week.  Clearly something isn’t right.  😦  The good news though?  The doctor said that my right eardrum looks really good, that it’s weathered it all really well, and he’s positive it will make it through without long term damage (the news isn’t so bright for the left – which is the one which is perforated and causing the most pain).  As always though, I’m determined to focus on the positive.  🙂  Now to text the hubby and see if he’ll heat up the “rice sock” so I can apply a nice warm compress while I wait for some pain killers to kick in.  😉

Hunting down the ear troll. :)

Today I started a third antibiotic…  one that is actually used to prevent malaria of all things.   For a couple hours after taking a dose I’m on the floor in the fetal position, sick as all get out, but that’s better than being sick all the time as I was on the previous prescription.  LOL  And as of this evening, my one ear is popping and snapping more frequently than rice krispies in milk.  It’s really strong, really painful, and my ear is leaking as it goes…  but in between all of the “static” I’m actually getting small snippits of clearer sound.  So I’m very hopeful.  It feels good to actually hear things again, even if it is just in 1/4 second bursts.  😉

I’m envisioning a strong female warrior, clad in viking armor, hunting down and and slicing off bit after bit of that nasty ear troll.  So it’s getting pretty raucous in there, which accounts for all the pain and clamour, as well as the fluids…  But she’s hunting it down, and soon enough?  This will all be over.  LMAO

I am sooo looking forward to getting back to my work, I really do have the best clients in the world.  Everyone has been so patient as I’ve been dealing with this infection.  I’m hopeful that this is a small bit of light at the end of this very long nasty tunnel.  I’ll keep you all posted!  🙂

Yes, I’m still sick with this blasted ear infection.

It’s a pretty sad state of affairs when the treatment makes you more sick than what you’re treating, but that’s the way it goes at times.  So, let’s see.  Time to backtrack.

Last night (sunday, july 15th) I started a new antibiotic.

Thursday (july 12th) I went back to the mediclinic and was diagnosed with a perforated eardrum due to infection.  I was told to give the current antibiotic a couple more days, before trying another that was prescribed at that time.

Monday (july 9th) I was diagnosed with an infection in both ears and prescribed an antibiotic, which I began taking.

Sunday (july 8th) I was unable to sleep as the pain had escalated and had become excruciating.

Thursday (july 5th) I had a slight earache that I attributed to an oncoming cold.

Yep.  That about sums it up.

So from a slight earache, to being in bed on a second set of antibiotics who’s side effects are so bad that it’s worse than what it’s treating.  Seriously!  The NORMAL side effects for this particular medication are:  vomiting, diarrhea, nausea, stomach upset, headaches, and “changes in taste” (which translates to a really foul taste in the mouth starting about 1/2 hour after taking a pill and for a few hours thereafter)…  All that in addition to the pain in my ears, the dizziness, the feeling of being underwater, the difficulty hearing, ringing of the ears, and the thunderous effect of pretty much any sound echoing through my head.

Yikes!

I’m going to give this antibiotic 48 hours, and if we don’t see a noticeable improvement in the symptoms from the ear infection?  Well, it will be back to the mediclinic for me.  And all this while I’m supposed to be preparing for my daughters fifth birthday – and that’s the part that bothers me most.  I am so stressed that I won’t be well by then.  Her party is this Saturday.  I haven’t sewn her dress, or crafted the party favours.  I haven’t made the decorations or the pinata.  Time is winding down, and I simply must be better.  I can deal with being sick…  as someone with Fibromyalgia and it’s counterparts (TMJ and IBS), I’m used to chronic pain and illness.  But the idea that I might not be well enough to finish her party preparations or to even be present in a real way for her birthday?  It’s a little too much to consider.

So while I joked about the “ear troll” when this all first started happening, now?  Now I’m genuinely concerned.  My baby girl is going to be FIVE, and I simply have to be better to celebrate with her.

In bed and frustrated (and no, I don’t mean sexually). Yeesh.

I’ll admit, one of the things I’m finding most frustrating about this ear infection is that while I’m stuck at home, often just sitting in bed either colouring with the girl or putzing on my macbook, I’m not actually well enough to be working on any of my processing.  So the longer my ears take to heal, the further behind I’m getting in my workload – and I’m just sitting at home, in bed.

Sitting at home, but not able to focus well enough to work.  I’m going a little batty.  So I have a couple of shoots that need my attention, and more coming up, but I can’t really do anything about it.

I can go out and shoot because while I’m out for such a short time my adrenaline kicks in and carries me through.  My work doesn’t suffer at all (though I move a little slower, and probably sound a little funny seeing how I can’t hear myself real well) so while I can be shooting, I can’t work through any processing.  And I hate being behind.  I really do hate asking folks to wait on their images because I know how hard it is to not know how things turned out.  But I suppose we do what we have to do.

I went back to the Veterina Mediclinic (and yes, I realize I almost put Veterinary Clinic) today.  Looks like the infection has actually caused a small perforation in my left ear.  The Doctor is concerned, but hopeful that given time it will heal itself.  So cross your fingers.  I go for a recheck in about two weeks

This whole ordeal still seems a little weird to me, I mean honestly?  An ear infection?  The last time I had one I was a little kid.  I think the last time MOST people remember having one was during their childhood.  So to have been sooo knocked for a loop by something that only bothers kids who spend a lot of time at the pool?  As an adult who hasn’t been swimming in a few months?  It’s a little odd.  But that’s just the way it goes I suppose.

And now?  Now I’m rambling.  Yes.  That’s kinda what happens when my brain is so fuzzy.  Hopefully we’ll be onto other topics soon.  I’m sure you’re all getting as tired of hearing about my ear infection as I am living with it.  LOL

Night all!  Wishing you many ear infection free years!

A one-two punch for the ear troll!

With thanks to a lovely woman I met through Saskamoon and her gift of breast milk, thanks to the doctor at the mediclinic for his prescription of novamoxin, and thanks to Dr. Shaun and his amazing organic ear wash I should hopefully be all better very soon.  My head still feels like there is a nasty little troll living in my inner ear, but it’s better than it was last night.  So – knock on wood – I should be all good in time for my photo shoots later this week.  Thankfully the beginning of the week was blessedly unscheduled and will be uneventful as I recover from this ear infection.

So… two things you ALL should know about.

One:  The power of breast milk!

Seriously!  Any time anything goes wrong, find a friend who is still actively engaged in a nursing relationship.  Breast milk is amazing for curing almost anything.  In this instance?  An ear infection.  Just a few drops in the ear a few times a day.  Let it woosh around in there a bit, and voila!

Two:  The awesome organic ear wash from Dr. Shawn!

Dr. Shawn's Herbal Ear Wash - for pets AND people

Dr. Shawn’s Herbal Ear Wash: made for pets, used by people!

This stuff was part of a parcel I received from Dr. Shawn for a review I did elsewhere two or three years ago now.  And I have ensured I’ve never been without it since.  Yes, it’s formulated for dogs, but so what!  It’s totally amazing stuff full of wonderful organic oils (like peppermint, tea tree, jojoba, eucalyptus, and a bunch more).  A few drops in the ear, squish it around, let it sit (it feels so nice when it’s in a sore, infected ear canal), then wipe it out.  Use as needed – I’m doing it a few times a day presently.  Click on the image above to visit Dr. Shawn’s website!

So…  I’m pretty sure that any ONE of these things would take out this ear bug, but I have no intention of having it take a week or more to get on it’s way out.  LOL  So I figure by doing all three?  I should be delivering a one two punch that knocks it on it’s proverbial ass, then kicks it once for good measure after it’s down.  Wish me luck!

 

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