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Amazing what a difference half a decade makes!

On Friday, I received my new drivers license in the mail.  A lot has changed since I had taken my previous DL photo.  Not just in my life, but procedurally as well.

Now they require a new photo every five years.  I think it used to be every seven (but don’t quote me on that).  It used to be you could wear glasses, smile, act and be natural in your photo.  Now, even if you wear glasses full time they have to be off, and not only are you not allowed to crack a toothy grin, you aren’t allowed to smile at all.  But, as you’ll note from my new license, a wry smirk is perfect acceptable.

My Driver's License Photo - Old and New

My Driver’s License Photo – Old and New

 

I have to admit…  when I received my new license and pulled the old one from my wallet, I stopped and stared at the photos for a while.  What a difference roughly half a decade makes.  The first photo was before I was married, before Lily-Ann was even a vague idea.  It was before I’d changed focus from my work as an expert in Canine Communication to Professional Photographer.  I voted Green back then, but wasn’t a member of the party, and would never dream I would run the provincial party and run for office during a provincial election, a national election, and a provincial by-election.  It was before I returned to my roots and realized how much I missed working with youth.  I hadn’t outed myself as a former victim of sexual assault, and was ashamed of the fact that I had FMS and IBS.  It was a very different me – who was plagued by social anxiety disorder and had a specially trained Service Dog because I couldn’t leave the house alone.

Now?  Wow.  There really isn’t much of that girl left.

I chose my wording carefully, the use of “girl” wasn’t an accident.  I was a girl.  I was a nervous, scared, girl.  I hid it pretty well from most folk…  but I really did live my life scared that I’d be found out, that someone would realize I wasn’t actually good enough to be worthwhile.

I said it once already, but for emphasis, I’ll say it again:  What a difference roughly half a decade makes.

Now?  I’m probably a little too self-assured…  I’m actually downright cocky.  LOL  I know that who I am matters, and what I do makes a difference.  I’m a proud woman.  Confident and ready to tackle pretty much anything that comes my way.  I live out loud, and tend to over share.  Want to know something about me?  Ask.  I’m not afraid and will happily talk to anyone about anything.  I’m doing some pretty amazing things.

Someone asked me if I felt old now that I’ve turned 35, and you know what?  I totally don’t.  I feel like life is just beginning.  I’ve just hit my stride.

 

GPS GM in Lloyd

Got up at five a.m. today to head out to Lloydminster for a Green Party of Saskatchewan General Meeting.  I don’t do mornings.  It’s not that I don’t like mornings.  It’s that I’m usually sick in the morning (gotta love FMS and IBS).

If I’m allowed to wake up on my own, no alarm except my internal one?  Then I’m absolutely fine.  But if I’m forced to rise before my body is ready?  It wrecks havoc on my entire day.  It’s lousy, but I’ve gotten used to it.

Like anything one deals with on a regular basis, you find ways to make things work.  And if they don’t work?  You work around them.  And being a person with a chronic pain disorder is no different.

After a while, one comes to terms with the things you can or cannot do.  You don’t beat yourself up over it.  And you just accept things as they are.  This is normal for me, and to be honest, sometimes I actually forget that not everyone has to do things the way I do.  LOL  It just feels normal.

So yeah…  it was kind of a rough day because of that early start.  But we got a lot done.  And it was nice to see some of our members that I don’t often run into.  I don’t really know where I’m going with this.  LMFAO  Like I said, rough day, long day…  my brain isn’t exactly at the top of it’s game.  LOL  But it is what it is.  😉

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