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My bag, a glimpse into my life.

Rogers, who we are registering as Aes Sidhe Captain America, left us to go live with his forever family.  Of course, they have a thirty day trial period to ensure things work out first, but I’m confident in this placement.  I really do think he’s a perfect fit for them…  and the picture they sent me earlier this evening – of him all snuggled in for a snooze under his new Daddy’s chin, the two of them laying together on the couch – just further cemented it.

It’s always a weird few days after someone leaves.  Whether it’s a puppy going to their forever home, or a client dog who is returning home after being a part of our pack for several months…  when someone leaves the entire dynamic of the house shifts.  And that’s happening here now.

So…  onto today’s challenge:  “in your bag”.

My bag used to be a purse.  Because I used to be a girl.  Now I’m a mom, and more fierce than any girl…  Grrrl, gurl, or Woman works for me.  And my bag is not a purse…  it really is a bag.  And instead of a compact, lip colour, and moisturizer I carry a spare pair of pajamas for the kid, snacks, reusable bags, cloth pads, and cute princess and fairy bandages.

A person’s bag (if they carry one) can reveal a lot about that person.  You really do get a real quick glimpse into their life and the things that are important to them.  Amidst the papers and bits of “stuff” one just naturally accumulates (that needs to be cleared out every so often) are bits of treasure and parts of a life well lived, or wasted, depending on your point of view.

pjs, strawberry bags, dog paw wallet, treats, cloth pads in a plastic baggy... all the momcentials.

…all the essentials in one place.

Tomorrow?  “Something you’re reading”.  After that?  “Happiness”.  Something that having all the right things in your bag can help ensure… at least when you have a little one about.  😉

photo a day challenge for january

Alive.

Quiet like the dawn crashing upon the rocky shore of darkness.

Full of noise, full of life.  A roar of silence.

Too loud to speak.

Self-aware.

In all things I am.

I exist.  Sentient.

Feeling, knowing, being.  Thunderous.  Mute.

Heaving towards stillness, the permanent precipice, the denouement.

Beauty in knowing acceptance.  Birthing terminus.

The rocky shore of darkness as the light creeps quietly away.

Waiting to be reborn.

Me, spewing my bad poetry on an unsuspecting readership.  😉  It had to be done.  Sorry all.  Just one of those days/nights.

He loves me. :)

Every so often, in life (as in art), something happens that makes you feel valued.  I know I make a difference, and I know what I do is important…  but in our families, with our mates, sometimes we just get to the point where we just take love for granted.  And when something happens to make you stop and realize how deeply someone trusts you?  It’s a big deal.

I can’t share the details…  yet.  We are making some changes, and as much as I LONG to share, we’re keeping things somewhat private for the time being.  But I can share this:  My husband trusts me far more than I realized.  And that feels pretty darn good.  🙂

LGBTT2QIA Winter Camp?

Would you be interested in a Winter camp aimed at Sexual Minority and Gender Variant individuals in Saskatchewan?  I, and two of my colleagues, would be very keen to hear from you – especially if you answered yes.  We are currently in the process of putting together our proposal, and your input would be invaluable.

I have created a short (seven question) survey, which I will share below.  It will only take a couple of minutes to fill it out, many of the questions are multiple choice.  Please do take a moment to share your thoughts, as it will go a long way to helping us create what could be a life changing experience for those who attend.

http://www.surveymonkey.com/s/TF7N2ZQ

Thank you SO VERY MUCH for your time and consideration.  It really is appreciated.

Dear Lady in the Women’s Bathroom – Ivan Coyote

Some of you may already be familiar with this piece.  It was something Ivan E Coyote wrote for her column in Xtra.  I remember reading it, and applauding it at the time.

For those of you who have never had to stop before going into a public washroom and consciously make a choice which door to walk into, be thankful.  It’s not an easy choice to make.  A person takes their safety into their own hands every time they walk into a public washroom, especially when the individuals on the other side of the door may not agree with their choice.  We don’t all fit neatly into one gender box or another – nor should we have to.  So here is Ivan, on being shrieked at, on life in the gender variant spectrum, on discrimination, and on compassion:

It’s well worth the watch folks, whether or not you’ve read the personal essay that ran in Xtra.

“Aggravated Homosexuality” may be punishable by death in Uganda.

amnesty international rainbow

 

I’m still out sick, officially, but this couldn’t wait:

The Ugandan Parliament is currently looking at a bill that would allow the death penalty for something called “aggravated homosexuality”.  Sexual Minority and Gender Variant people in Uganda already face a dangerous rode, as Uganda is one of the few nations where homosexuality is illegal.  Please take a minute to write to the Prime Minister, urging him to NOT pass this bill during their upcoming session.

Action must be taken immediately, with a deadline of April 2nd.  So please, please take a moment to write a brief email or to send (with guaranteed delivery prior to the second) a letter to the Hon. Amama Mbabzi.

Facing judicial punishment for simply BEING is a human rights travesty, but the idea that an individual could be put to death for love?  There are no words that are adequate.

 

Rt. Hon. Amama Mbabazi

Office of the Prime Minister

P.O. Box 341, Kampala, Uganda

E-mail: opm@imul.com

For more information on this bill, and other human rights issues, please visit Amnesty International at http://www.amnesty.org/ and http://www.amnesty.org/en/library/asset/AFR59/001/2012/en/fa2f38d6-dc7e-44cc-b295-5016f57154c5/afr590012012en.html

Go the F to Sleep…. please?

ACK!!!!

Child will not sleep.

We finished our usual nighttime routine and laid down in the dark at 8:20.  It’s now 9:40 and she is still awake.  If I didn’t log on to blog anyway, I’d have lost my mind.  It’s bad enough when I lay in bed at night unable to sleep, but laying in bed waiting for my night to start for over an hour???  Holy crap.  Talk about wanting to bang ones head into a wall.  Jeepers.

"go the fok to sleep"

Neither the girl nor I sleep without melatonin.  We just can’t slow our brains down enough, so we just lie awake for hours.  Thankfully, with melatonin it’s usually no more than six – eight minutes in the dark for the kid and equal for me.  Of course, she takes less than a third of the dose that I take.  Well…  usually.  Tonight she’s had twice her regular dose which is about half my regular dose (don’t even ask how much of the stuff I take when I’m away at a dog show, YIKES!).

I think the excitement over the Valentine’s Day party her pre-k class is having has got her too wound up.  This girl, like her mommy, loves to give.  Even Yule and Christmas don’t get her wound up enough that she can’t sleep.  But the excitement over giving everyone in her class a home made bookmark and individually wrapped and decorated cupcakes?  Too awesome for sleep.  Of course, I’ve now had to pull out the big guns and told her that if she doesn’t sleep she will be too tired to actually go to school tomorrow.  So no sleep means no Valetine’s party.

Well. I thought we almost had her there.  A couple minutes remaining still…  but nope.  She’s thrashing all over the place again.  Ugh.  Wish me luck.  Got to get this kid to sleep and no idea how the heck I’m going to do it.  Pretty quick I’m going to be forced to tag out and get her Dad in here to double team her.  Good freakin’ grief.  Oy!

Too sick to party? Hope not. :(

I’m afraid that after all of her hard work, kid-kid may just be coming down with something in time for her class’s Valentines Day party.  😦  Today she has a runny nose, and is a little extra wrangy…  Hopefully with lots of fluids and healthy foods we’ll have her on the mend before then.  Poor kid.

On Friday we spend the early afternoon baking and decorating:  cupcakes, of course.  Confetti cupcakes with chocolate icing, and covered in sprinkles, sparkles, and red, white, and pink candy hearts.  We then popped one tray into the freezer and one into the fridge.  We still have to make the cupcake toppers and slide them into their individual bags – but then they’ll be all set.  We’re also planning to do up bookmarks for all of her classmates.  She’s super excited about them, and I know they’ll turn out adorable.  After everything she’ll have put together it would be awful for her to miss out on the festivities.

Damon and I don’t usually exchange anything on Valentines Day.  Instead we buy something for the girl.  After all, we have our anniversary to celebrate one another…  Valentines is about celebrating love, so it only makes sense that we’d celebrate our baby.  🙂  And went out shopping yesterday and again today in search of the right gift (while Lily-Ann was having her weekly sleep-over at her Pop Pop and Grams’ place).  I think we’ve got something she’ll absolutely love.  And thanks to an error at the store, we got it for half price – which is what brought it into our price range.  LOL  Gotta love an error (of course, we didn’t realize it was an error until the price came up differently at the register – but Toys R’ Us honored the price marked on the shelf, so YAY).

Even if the girlie ends up out sick, I’ll make sure that her things are delivered to her class, and she’ll still get a present…  but after all her efforts I’d hate for her to miss out on the class party.  Lots of good vibes, healing energy, and white light her way, if you have any to spare, we’d appreciate it.

My poor baby.  Crashed out on top of the comforter…  We didn’t even make it three pages into our current chapter before she was out like a light.

And yes!  She has a fuzzy red heart-shaped pillow (it’s a total coincidence, we didn’t start reading the Goddess Girls books until after she’d had it for several months, she giggles every time we read about Aphrodite’s pillows).

And again, yes.  She’s wearing a frog prince sleeping mask – which I slipped down over her face after I snapped this shot.

And one further yes.  Like any good Canadian kid should have, she’s got on her Toopy and Binoo jamies.  😉

Poor kid, just wiped right out.

“I’ll love you forever”

“Mommy, can you hold my hand?”

“Of course I can.”  pause.  “I really am a very lucky Mommy.”

“I know, and I’m a lucky daughter.”

“I’ll love you forever.”

“And I’ll love you even more than forever.”

I give the girlie’s hand a squeeze in reply, and within minutes – the two of us lying in bed together in the dark – she’s asleep.

I really am a very lucky mommy.  No matter how crazy our day has been, or how much trouble either one of us has gotten in, I can count on an amazing nighttime exchange that recharges and refuels my soul.  My wish for every parent is for these types of small moments, the moments that speak to us and create lasting change within us.  Hold your little ones close, as we all know, they’ll be gone too quickly and the sweetness will give way to eye rolls and slumped shoulders…  but even then, I’ll still be a lucky mommy.  With so much wrong in our world, it’s nice to know this little piece of all that is right, is mine.

legwarmers, feet, and an accordian

"Multiple Measure Rest" - February 9th 2010

 

 

Breaking the Silence

The last several months I’ve served on (and last month and this month have chaired) the board for Breaking the Silence.  It’s the fifteenth year for this annual conference that focuses on breaking down walls and barriers in education for Sexual Minorities and Gender Queer individuals here in Saskatchewan.

When Don Cochrane (the founder and force behind Breaking the Silence) asked me to join the board this year I couldn’t say no.  The youth of our province deserve the very best we can give them, and helping to bring this conference together is just one way I can help provide that.  And not only am I working behind the scenes, I’ll actually be presenting at the conference as well.  I’ll be leading a session I’ve nicknamed “Gender, Sex, and How the Heck I Fit into it All.”

There will be several “streams” of information presented at Breaking the Silence this year.  My session can be found in the youth stream, but there are also sessions on health, education, and research.  We’ve also got Ivan Coyote presenting the keynote the night leading into the conference.  If you’ve never heard her, I’d say it’s time you did.  She is absolutely fantastic, and has created a new performance piece specifically for this years conference entitled “As Good as We Can Make it:  On bullying, collective responsibility, and actually making it better.”  It should be amazing.

So yeah!  Check it out!  You can find all the details at:  http://www.usask.ca/education/breaking-the-silence/index.htm  And this year there is even online registration (with different price schedules to fit most any budget – including students and the under-employed).  Want to know more?  Feel free to ask.  Otherwise, I’ll plan to see you there!

Breaking the Silence Poster 2012-1

breaking the silence logo

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