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My Daughter Didn’t Dance

Today, my daughter didn’t dance, and it broke my heart.


Lily-Ann celebrated her sixth birthday almost a week ago.  On July 20th we had friends and a few family members over to the house to help her celebrate.  She’d decided on a Goddess Girls theme this year.  We all dressed in chitons, played games I created based on the characters in the books, ate ambrosia cake and drank nectar punch, and everyone wore the winged sandals we made as our party favours.  After her party, she told me that all her birthday dreams and wishes had come true.  It was an awesome day.

Click the photo to see the rest of her party pictures.

Click the photo to see the rest of her party pictures.


The two weeks leading up to her sixth birthday, the girl had been going through some rather big developmental changes.  It was clear she was becoming a “big kid” and leaving the “baby” behind.  I was so excited for her.  She was growing in leaps and bounds right before my eyes.  I was proud of the conscious choices she was making, and happy for those things that were changing even without her awareness.  As much as I loved my baby, my toddler, and my little girl, I love the big kid she was becoming even more (if that’s possible).

My little girl loved going to the movies.  She loves the stories, the action, the music, the popcorn…  cuddling up in the dark theater.  More than any of that though, she loved to dance.  Ever since that first movie we went to, we’d let her run up to the front as soon as the credits started, and we’d watch her dance.

Those first few times, she’d wipe out…  a lot.  We’d hold back though, and just wait.  Then, with even more resolve, determination, and grit she would dust herself off and dance her heart out.  Sometimes spinning all the way from one side of the theater to the other, arms held wide, face to the sky, feeling the entire world whorl around her.  And she would take my heart along for the ride.

It was secretly my favourite part of the movie too.

There were times, when others would get caught up in her passion too.  When individuals, couples, and families would stay to watch her dance.  Some would clap for her.  Others would tell us how amazing they thought she was.  And there were those who would simply smile, their eyes full of gratitude.

I think her dancing reminded people of joy.  We so easily forget how much of it there is in this world.  We get so caught up in things that really don’t matter and we forget how to be swept up in it.  Joy can fill the heart with rapture and our lives with light.  Lily-Ann gave that back to people, even if it was just for a while.

Today, when the movie ended, and she got up to dance, my heart soared – like it always did.  She got up to the front, and she stood there.  I watched her posture change, and watched that joy melt away.  Then I watched her walk back to her seat.  She sat back down and said “I’m not going to dance today.  Maybe a different day, but not today.”  And I started to bawl.  I wasn’t loud, but I couldn’t stop the tears.  They poured down my face.

Lily wasn’t sad.  She was happy.  But that pure innocent joy, without a care about what anyone could think, was gone.  She really is a big kid, and with that comes both good and bad.  I look forward to what this next stage has in store for us, but I desperately mourn for my baby – who was here with me only weeks ago.

Dwarf Eye Candy?!?

Okay, one last post on the new Hobbit movie.  I just can’t let this slide.  I actually found this completely insulting and fairly disgusting to tell the truth.

The fact that movie moguls assumed The Hobbit wouldn’t be marketable to a certain segment of the population without eye candy is completely degrading.  When I watch a movie, especially one with a literary foundation like The Hobbit, I’m not watching it looking out for hot men or sexy women.  I’m watching it for the story.  The notion that I, or anyone attracted to men, wouldn’t be interested in seeing the film if it were lacking in sex appeal is pretty revolting.

Every time I saw one of these “sexy” dwarves it pissed me off.

There was a lot in The Hobbit that left me feeling less than satisfied, but this whole thing with the dwarves?  Not cool.  Not at all.  Can someone explain to me exactly how we go from this:

thorin oakenshield

A beautiful rendition of Thorin by artist Turner Mohan.

To this:

a very non-dwarfish Thorin.

While yummy, totally undwarf-like in every way.

…because frankly?  Besides attempting to sex-up The Hobbit (which is supposed to be a light hearted children’s story) I can’t see any reason for the change.  And for anyone who loved the book, not only is the movie Thorin uncharacteristically good looking he’s also uncharacteristically noble and self-sacrificing with a voice as smooth as silk.  Movie Thorin would be welcome many places (and in many beds), but in this movie?  Not so much.

Of all the things wrong with the new hobbit movie (and despite the long list I AM trying desperately to like it still) this one is the worst.  It is insulting, degrading, and someone – perhaps many someones – really deserve to be slapped upside the head over their misogynistic attitudes.  Because truly, there is something wrong with the person who believes we must be tricked into a theater with the promise of eye candy.  Seriously, eye candy not required or requested.

For more reading on what exactly went wrong with what should have been a wonderful romp of a movie, visit

And, just because I am concerned that some may lay blame with Armitage (the actor portraying Thorin),  I feel the need to note; Armitage does a beautiful job portraying this non-dwarf version of Thorin.  The fault for this offense does not lie with him.  He’s not the one who chose to change a character to appease some warped view of the movie going public.

The Hobbit (my anti-3D rant)

Every so often I go through one of these anti-tech phases…  shunning FB, twitter, pinterest, wish, wordpress, and my phone.  And yeah…  I’m kinda in the middle of one right now.  That said, I will attempt to resume my regularly scheduled, six nights a week, blogging.  To that end, here I am.  Blogging.

On Christmas (yep, actually ON Christmas, at 10:45 PM) Damon and I went to see The Hobbit.  Now, to give you a little back story, and I’m pretty sure I’ve mentioned this all before, The Hobbit?  It’s more than a book, more than a movie, more than a script to me.  It’s a huge freakin’ part of my life and has been since my childhood.  After blogging for as many years as I have been, I’m certain I’ve mentioned this before, so I’m guessing if you search my blog for “hobbit” that more than a few entries will pop up.  It’s been a big deal in my life, and helped shape me in many ways.  However, I’m still feeling rather anti-tech-ish, so I don’t feel all that up to typing and sharing a peroration.  So just pretend that you are with me and as excited as I am/was.

So YAY!!!!  The Hobbit!!!

Well…  all I really feel prepared to say is skip the 3D.  Honestly.  If you have yet to catch The Hobbit at your local cinema, watch the 2D version of it.  The movie should have been incredibly immersive experience, but I found I was constantly pulled out of the story by the 3D.  It’s not that it’s a bad use of it, it’s just that stylistically it doesn’t work for much of the storytelling.  Sure, there are a few scenes that looked really impressive, but the majority of the time it just pulls you away from the story.  And that, my friends?  Is a sure fire way to ruin what could have been an amazing movie going experience.

So my YAY became a disappointing sigh as I was repeatedly pulled out of the story because of what?  Tech.  That’s right.  Which probably doesn’t help my current anti-tech phase.  Too much tech.  Boo.

With that, I’ll sign off for the night.

Wishing you all a wonderful tech-filled night without disappointment.  😉

Eat your heart out John Hughes!

Guess what I get to do tomorrow afternoon?  I’m going shopping!  But not just regular, run of the mill, shopping.  I’m going shopping for a PROM DRESS!  Yep, you read that right.  Tobi-Dawne gets a prom dress!

Okay maybe it’s a little dorky that at 34 I’m this excited for Prom, but I don’t care.  I’m super psyched about it!  We never had a prom.

I remember always watching all those great teen angst flicks of the 80’s…  They all had a prom.  They’d dress up and have the best time ever.  All sorts of chaos and pain, and then VOILA!  Prom makes it all better.  And hey!  Even in the movies where prom didn’t make it better, at least it made everything LOOK better.

Pretty in Pink, at the prom

So I’m willing to accept that I’m a bit of a dork, Prom is going to be awesome.  No.  It’s going to be EPIC!  Saskatchewan’s first every PINK PROM!  And I get to be a part of it all.  That is totally legend – wait for it – dary.  That’s right.  Legendary.  I said it.

I’m gonna look Pretty at the Pink Prom – oh yeah!  I went THERE.  😉


Everything Old is New Again – The Muppet Movie!

Tonight we took kid-kid to a movie…  the new Muppet movie to be specific.  And I am SOOO glad we did.

It’s honestly a great time for people my age to be parents.  All the things we loved are being brought back, and having kids is the perfect excuse to love them all over again.  True, some things that are being brought back are in a slightly more adult form (like the Thundercats) but some things are still perfectly, joyously, wonderfully for kids and us kids at heart (like My Little Pony, Friendship is Magic).  It really is the coolest thing ever to be able to share something you loved so much, with someone you love so much.

The girlie and I both love My Little Pony – and we watch both the classic shows from when I was young and the new Friendship is Magic series too.  I’ll admit to still having many of my childhood MLPs (and a few more I’ve collected along the way, including some mint on card items), and it’s so much fun to help her build her collection of G4 (as collectors refer to the ponies currently available in stores) MLPs.  Damon, the kid, and I all watch Thundercats together too, which is so much fun to share…  and the Muppet Show is right up there for us too.

It was truly truly awesome to watch Lily-Ann during the new Muppet Movie.  Watching as her eyes got wide, and her grin got so big I thought it would crack her face.  Watching her tap her feet, and dance in her seat, and listening to her sing along with some of her favourite Muppet songs.  One of my favourite moments was when, in the quiet theatre she exclaimed “Oh! My! Goodness!!!!  It’s NPH!!!!”  Yes, a love of Neil Patrick Harris is something else we share thanks to growing up in the age of Dr. Doogie.

I have to admit, I enjoyed listening to the other members of the audience as they too enjoyed kid-kid’s enthusiasm.  Little giggles and “awwwws” of adoration came from around us at her visible and audible appreciation for the movie.  “Mommy!  Mom!  He said ‘Steve Martin’!  I know him.  I love Steve Martin!”  …all together now:  giggle giggle “awwwww”.

Of course the movie had it’s doofus moments too, it is the Muppets after all.  But I really am SOOOO glad we went.  Seeing them on the big screen is so worth doing.  Seeing some classic Muppet moments (like the introduction to The Muppet Show) that big and that loud was amazing…  and hearing my daughter singing it, barely contained by her big movie theatre seat, was incredible.

So yeah.  I don’t often gush about a movie experience, but this one really was an experience.  If you’re my age, and you’ve got little ones, you need to take them to see this movie.  And if you haven’t already?  Hit your local library for some The Muppet Show DVDs…  it’s SOOOO worth it to share something that you loved with someone that you love!

Apparitions – a project to watch

An upcoming project has writers and other creative types buzzing.  It’s a new movie based on the book Apparitions by writer Raven Bower.  If you haven’t picked up the book, I’d say it’s high time you did.

Rumors abound on who might be chosen to play the lead character, Bailey.  The story calls for a strong female lead, and one can’t help but wonder if they will choose one of the usual suspects or cast an unknown.  Whomever is chosen will have their work cut out for them with this demanding role.

As a dog lover, and Canine Behaviour Expert, I can’t help but speculate on the part of Thor.  Hopefully with rewrites and edits, his part will still be as prominent as it is in Bower’s original work.  As Bailey’s constant companion, the heartbeat at her feet, her anchor and strength, the dogs trainer will be put through the paces.  Believability is key – and it has often been found lacking in movies that strongly feature animal actors.

This really is an exciting project, and one I will be keeping my ear to the ground over.  As one of the few who has read the original screenplay (and been sworn to secrecy) I can say with certainty, that potential abounds with Apparitions.  In a genre where actors, directors, and production teams have such a fine line to walk this one could become one of the great Horror movies of our day.

Read more about Apparitions and Raven Bower at


The Trotsky

My joy today came in movie form.

Ask anyone who knows me.  I LOVE movies.  Indy, mainstream, flicks, films, blockbusters…  I love movies.

And every so often a movie  comes along that makes me want to sing.  A goosebump worthy, joyfest.

If you haven’t seen The Trotsky yet, get thyself to yon library.  🙂  It’s one you need to borrow.  Or rent it.  Or stream it.  Just make yourself available to it in some way.  It’s a gooder.  Well acted, well written, well directed, well produced, well lit, well designed.  It’s just one of those happy-making flicks.  It made me grin, lots.

Clickthe image for the film's website.

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