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A brief update…

Just a real quick update, and an apology for not posting the last couple of days.  We’ve been fighting pretty hard to keep our littlest puppy going.  We’ve finally got her weight up to 2.5, but that’s far from being in the clear.  Poor thing is not doing really well, but she’s a fighter.  I will keep you all posted.  For now though, my energies are needed elsewhere.
Night!

From an article on neonaticide…

From an article on the cultural relevance of neonaticide to both hunter/gatherers and modern society came this quote by Steven Pinker:

A new mother will first coolly assess the infant and her current situation and only in the next few days begin to see it as a unique and wonderful individual. Her love will gradually deepen in ensuing years, in a trajectory that tracks the increasing biological value of a child (the chance that it will live to produce grandchildren) as the child proceeds through the mine field of early development.

And I have to admit, this quote made me feel a whole lot better about how I looked at my daughter the first time I saw her.

Some of you know the details, most of you don’t…  but the day my daughter was ripped from my body was the worst day of my life.  It’s a hard thing to admit.  I love her more than life, she is my entire world, I would give anything for her happiness and security.  But that emergency c-section, after three daysof labour, was the worst thing I’ve ever experienced.  It’s a hard thing, it’s conflicting.  But there is NO conflict in how I feel about the girlie.

I had disassociated.  Things were so bad that I wandered in and out of awareness.  I remember things in vague patches.  Horrifying for the most part.  Then there was a baby next to my head, swaddled, and pronounced as mine.  And through my haze I was expected to be full of love and life altering emotion…  but all I could say was “oh”.

I have always felt horribly guilty for that “oh”.  Like there was something not right with me, that I couldn’t instantly forget everything I’d just experienced and be overjoyed and present for my new baby.  But it took some time.  And I am so grateful for my husband, who cuddled Lily-Ann and showered affection on her, when I wasn’t fully myself.  It didn’t take long, but I’ve always felt wrong for not being instantly present and instantly in love…  And this one sentence, in regards to motherhood, made me feel so much better.

My daughter really is everything to me.  She is why I push so hard for social change.  She is why I work so diligently.  She is why I love so freely.  She is why I am who I have become.  I am better for her.

So while my surgery was the worst experience of my life, what resulted from that surgery is the best thing in my life.  There is no conflict there.  I know exactly where one ends, and the other begins.

I have said it before, and I’ll say it again:  I Believe in the Power of She!  And She?  She is my daughter!

One Heck of a Day – Chihuahua Puppies!

Wow.

Seriously.  Long.  Day.

LOL  If it weren’t for the pure exhaustion, I’d share it all with you.  But honestly?  I am wiped right out.  The adrenaline is no longer pumping, and I’m likely to crash soon.  Okay, I’m starting to crash NOW.  😉

Details can wait, but one thing can’t:  a HUGE shout-out to my husband Damon!  Seriously, this guy was a freakin’ rockstar today.  Never whelped a litter of puppies before, and he was amazing.  Seriously, amazing.

Roo went into labour early, she was due on the 27th.  And of course, I’m in Regina, hours from home.  But I didn’t need to worry, (even though I did, I worried and stressed – LOTS) Damon nailed it!  Not only did he keep Roo calm, and help her out with her first litter, he actually saved a puppy who was in distress.  Like I said.  My husband is a rockstar.  🙂

And another huge thank you to Em, Rosalie, and Laurie who all helped out with advice when the little boy was struggling.  And further thank yous to all my dog show peeps (Lisa, Haille, Kandy, Barry, and everyone else) who tried to console me when things were looking bleak, and celebrated with me when things ended up being great.

So yeah.  Long day.  But, one with a bright happy ending.

Rooty-Toot and Puppies

Oh!  And Marnie won another point today, and got Best Puppy in Breed.  LOL  So, yeah.  Totally draining and exhausting and amazing day.  🙂

Baby J’s 1st Photoshoot

I had the chance to do a new baby photo shoot today, and those are always such a treat.

I’ve rounded up a few of the photos to share.

Now, ya’ll know me.  I like a photograph that tells a story…  so those are the ones I picked.  Each of these captures really could inspire an entire host of fictions – but sometimes?  The truth is even more fun.  😉

So here is baby J:

Scraptastic Saturdays – Then and Now

I have been a scrappin’ machine this last week.  Seriously, I’m usually content to get a LO or two done every week…  this week though?  I think I’ve finished SIX of them.  Like I said, scrappin’ machine.  LOL

So…  what I decided to share, are two layouts.  I didn’t plan them together or anything.  But  when I looked back through the week, I realized I created two that focused solely on the wee girlie, and both utilized templates by ScrapElf from the Silly Side collection.   One features pictures I took on Thursday, one features pictures her Daddy took the day she was born.

Without further ado.  Here’s Lily-Ann.  Then and Now.  🙂

Lily-Ann, when she was brand new.

Then

A fun and exhuberant three year old girl.

Now

 

Then – Sweet Baby kit by Missy’s Bits and AliSarah  & Silly Sides Template by ScrapElf.

Now – Potty kit for girls by Sugar Pie Scraps & Silly Sides Template by ScrapElf.

Welcome to the World, Little!

I headed to the hospital tonight to bring my cousin a Coke slurpee.  She was in labour, and I knew she really wanted one.  Took our great big, washable, insulated cup to the Sev, and the headed to R.U.H.

Well…  While I was signing  in as an after hours guest, guess who arrived?  “Little” Craik (no name yet).  So I showed up at the room only minutes after he was born.  LOL  I totally crashed the birth, but I don’t regret it one bit!  I do feel bad that Jamie didn’t get to enjoy her slurpee during her labour, but I am oh so glad that I got to be one of the first people to welcome “Little” to the world.

He is strong, healthy, and beautiful…  and will never lack for love.  😀

"Little" Craik's little parts.

"Little" Craik's Little Piggies!

For family and friends of “Little”, I’ve got an entire album posted at facebook already.  😀

Congratulations Mommy and Daddy!  Welcome to the most amazing adventure you’ll ever be lucky enough to be a part of.

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