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A2Z – Defining Ourselves

Blogging our way from A to Z on sexual and gender identity - defining ourselves

There is something to be said for having such a handle on who you are that you can take a glance in the mirror and say “There I am.  I am _____.”  Personally I don’t know what it’s like.  I’ve never fit neatly into a little box.  Life is messy, and so am I.  I’ve tried to stuff my vast and varied parts into an easily labeled box…  I tried for many, many years to stuff myself into one.  But there were always parts hanging out, keeping the lid only half covering the contents.  I’ve come to be grateful for it though, as I’ve come to accept myself.  That unclosing lid is what kept me breathing.  I think I’d likely have smothered if I’d managed to get it on tightly.

There is this drive, this need in our society, to define ourselves.  Like I said, I suffered from it myself for many years.  Now though?  I really don’t get it.

The minute we can slap a label on that box (whether the box represents others or ourselves) we can put it up on a shelf and forget about it.  When a box has a label on it, we don’t need to dig any deeper.  We don’t need to slowly discover it’s contents.  We rob ourselves of that joy.  Discovery, let’s be honest, really is a joy.  And self discovery?  It’s even more so.

Accept yourself as you are, and if you need a label, there are many out there.  Take which one fits when you need it, and discard it when it no longer does.  Allow yourself the discovery, and allow those around you the same.  You are worth the time it takes to really get to know you.  You are worth the joy of a slow reveal, the slow clap, the slow motion entrance.  Grab that 80’s teen flick moment and just run with it!  Be pretty in pink!

The girl and I, all dressed in matching outfits for Pink Revolution, the anti-bullying week here in Saskatchewan.

The kid and I, pretty in pink, celebrating Pink Revolution today.

LMAO  Okay, yes, super eye-roll-causing segway…  but I HAD to get in this photo of the kid and I – all dressed in our matching duds – as we headed out for the walk to school.  🙂  And while it was a seriously dorky way to lead into the photo that doesn’t take away from the truth of it.

The minute you accept yourself as you are, and stop searching for a way to squish yourself into a nice neat box you’ll find your world will open up in ways you didn’t expect.  You really are worth the joy that comes from slowly discovering all the glorious mysteries that make up that amazing package – don’t deny yourself that pleasure.  Don’t slap on the first definition that seems like it just might fit okay.  There is no rush.  You have your entire lifetime to discover yourself, and those who are worthwhile in your life?  They’ll happily take that time too.

the april a to z blog challenge

Eat your heart out John Hughes!

Guess what I get to do tomorrow afternoon?  I’m going shopping!  But not just regular, run of the mill, shopping.  I’m going shopping for a PROM DRESS!  Yep, you read that right.  Tobi-Dawne gets a prom dress!

Okay maybe it’s a little dorky that at 34 I’m this excited for Prom, but I don’t care.  I’m super psyched about it!  We never had a prom.

I remember always watching all those great teen angst flicks of the 80’s…  They all had a prom.  They’d dress up and have the best time ever.  All sorts of chaos and pain, and then VOILA!  Prom makes it all better.  And hey!  Even in the movies where prom didn’t make it better, at least it made everything LOOK better.

Pretty in Pink, at the prom

So I’m willing to accept that I’m a bit of a dork, Prom is going to be awesome.  No.  It’s going to be EPIC!  Saskatchewan’s first every PINK PROM!  And I get to be a part of it all.  That is totally legend – wait for it – dary.  That’s right.  Legendary.  I said it.

I’m gonna look Pretty at the Pink Prom – oh yeah!  I went THERE.  😉


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