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I am not ready to give her up!

It may be ridiculous, but all I can be right now is sad.

Summer hasn’t even started yet, and already it’s too short.  Two months?  That’s barely enough time to picnic, forget finishing our unpacking, fixing up the house, gardening, heading to the lake, and all the other things we want to do.  We’re going to blink and it will be time for school again.

Autumn used to be my favourite time of year.  I loved the weather, the leaves, the fact that most folk stopped coming to the lake – leaving it just for us…  I loved everything about it.  Now I’m dreading it.

Autumn this year means my baby is leaving me.  And the kicker?  I’m the one who convinced her to give grade one a try, she wanted to stay home and have me teach her.  But Ms. Jackson, the grade one teacher at Mayfair?  She’s fabulous.  Is so obviously passionate about her kids, and I just know Lily-Ann could learn so much from having her be a daily part of her life.  I’m just so not ready to give her up.  Not even close to ready.

Moving from Pre-k to Kindergarten was hard enough.  I still miss our Friday afternoons.  But the idea that come Fall I will only have my girl for a few hours every day???  It’s just too much.  I honestly cried myself to sleep last night.  It’s ridiculous, I know.  I can’t help it though.  I am not ready to give her up.

We haven’t even started Summer holidays and already I’m depressed and upset over Summer coming to an end.  How the heck am I going to make it through?  There isn’t enough time in the world to prepare me for giving up my daughter full time to the school system.  Can’t she go part time?  Honestly?  Truly?  Is that an option?  Because THAT would make it all better.

I was a failure!

I was a complete and utter failure in school when it came to math (or algebra or whatever you’d like to call it).  In standardized testing I ended up testing in the bottom five percent of our population.  I switch numbers in my head, so when it came to memorizing the multiplication tables I was hooped.  64’s became 46’s, and vise versa.  Later on I’d fail at any concept that I couldn’t visualize.  Provide  me with a way to rectify the equations in a tangible manner and I’d breeze through the chapter.  Otherwise, and generally, I was in way past my ability to stay afloat.  All through school I thought I must be an absolute idiot.  It was hard on my self esteem, and interfered with so much I’d hoped to do or become.  But today I know better.

As an adult, in every day life, I can often figure out number problems faster than my “high honor roll” husband.  He comes to his answers the way the teachers insist one should…  I come to them by means that baffle and confuse anyone who’s ever asked “how did you figure that out so quick?”

Even simple math problems get answered in a way vastly different than we are taught to find the answers.  Today, for example…  I needed to know how much it would be for three items that were $3.50 each.  Easy, right?  $10.50  But the interesting part is how I arrive at that figure.

Most people simply multiply 3.50 by 3…  Me?  Well, I know that three threes is nine, and .50 three times is 1.50…  together they make 10.50.  And be glad that’s an easy one.  LMAO  The way I arrive at correct numerical answers would astound most.

Anyway…  the whole point of this is simply to say that numbers tormented me as a child.  I was taught that I couldn’t do math, that I didn’t have the capacity.  The bottom five percent of society, incapable of even the most basic math skills.  But it wasn’t true.  I just fail at “textbook” math.

Should children be punished because they can’t arrive at an answer the way society insists they arrive at it?  I don’t think so.  There has to be a better way.  Do I have the answer?  Do I have a solution?  Unfortunately no.  But I do know that the way things are is not okay.  The status quo is simply not good enough.  If I am capable of surpassing honor roll math intellect in terms of speed and accuracy than surely there are others who were also failed by the education system – or who ARE being failed by it at this very moment.  Can’t something be done?

 

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