Every so often, in life (as in art), something happens that makes you feel valued. I know I make a difference, and I know what I do is important… but in our families, with our mates, sometimes we just get to the point where we just take love for granted. And when something happens to make you stop and realize how deeply someone trusts you? It’s a big deal.
I can’t share the details… yet. We are making some changes, and as much as I LONG to share, we’re keeping things somewhat private for the time being. But I can share this: My husband trusts me far more than I realized. And that feels pretty darn good. 🙂
“Mommy, can you hold my hand?”
“Of course I can.” pause. “I really am a very lucky Mommy.”
“I know, and I’m a lucky daughter.”
“I’ll love you forever.”
“And I’ll love you even more than forever.”
I give the girlie’s hand a squeeze in reply, and within minutes – the two of us lying in bed together in the dark – she’s asleep.
I really am a very lucky mommy. No matter how crazy our day has been, or how much trouble either one of us has gotten in, I can count on an amazing nighttime exchange that recharges and refuels my soul. My wish for every parent is for these types of small moments, the moments that speak to us and create lasting change within us. Hold your little ones close, as we all know, they’ll be gone too quickly and the sweetness will give way to eye rolls and slumped shoulders… but even then, I’ll still be a lucky mommy. With so much wrong in our world, it’s nice to know this little piece of all that is right, is mine.
Whenever WordPress emails me saying someone read a post of mine “and enjoyed it enough to click the ‘Like’ button” all I can think is THEY LIKE ME! THEY REALLY LIKE ME! Because regardless of the fact that Sally Field actually said “…you like me, right now, you like me!” That’s not how folks remember it. And it’s not what you actually did, what you actually said, that people remember. It’s the pop culture, snapshot, of it all that gets remembered.
Hmmm… Now I have a choice. Do I blog about how silly it is that I get all excited knowing someone cared enough to click like, comment, or rate my post? How us bloggers are so very fickle and need our egos stroked constantly? Or do I rant and rail against this pop culture version of ourselves that is likely to be remembered vs. the truth of ourselves? Ooooo… there’s a third choice here. I can turn to YOU, the folks who satisfy that need for attention, and ask you to weigh in. Of course, if I put it out there, if I ask the question, and no-one writes back? That would be crushing. 😉 Well… maybe not crushing, but it certainly wouldn’t feel good.
So, perhaps all I’ll leave you with is this, which is something I can admit to identifying with:
“I haven’t had an orthodox career, and I’ve wanted more than anything to have your respect. The first time I didn’t feel it, but this time I feel it, and I can’t deny the fact that you like me, right now, you like me!”
– Sally Field’s famous, often misquoted, acceptance speech.
As a parent, I can say we all deserve these types of moments from time to time. Parenting is NOT easy, and so much of what we do is taken for granted. However, the minute WE take our role for granted we stand to cause all sorts of damage. It’s exhausting to be ever mindful of the things you do and say, but every so often a moment occurs that makes it so worth while.
A couple of days ago I had one of those fabulous “YAY ME!” parenting moments. One of those moments where you know you got it right, in spite of it all (or, occasionally in spite of yourself). And you can’t help but pat yourself on the back, mentally anyway.
I was watching the most recent episode of Glee with my husband while kid-kid was playing near by. Hearing them begin a song she rushed over (she loves to dance and sing along – when it’s one she knows). Afterwards she asked who Mercedes was singing about. I replied “Sam”. It was a love song after all, and the girl just had to have more info. Not a fan of the show herself (she just enjoys the music) she, not knowing who that was, didn’t skip a beat asking me “Is that a boy or a girl?”. All I could think was YAY!
Honestly, the fact that Lily-Ann didn’t automatically assume that since Mercedes is a girl that her love interest would be a boy just made my heart sing. Yep. It was definitely a proud “yay me!” type moment. There is definitely hope for this generation. The fact that it’s a complete non-issue for the kid is such an amazing thing to me. Even though she is inundated with societies vision of a “normal” couple, a boy girl pairing, she knows that other couplings are equally normal and natural. It’s a good thing.