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A cornball view of spirituality and a patch of dirt.

There are few things as truly good for the soul as dark rich soil and all the life contained within.  Of course, there are few things as jarring for the body as cultivating a yard gone to meadow and then planting said yard with perennials.  So while my mind and heart sing out a blissful YES, my body wimpers, sobs, and groans in protest – but it’s worth it.

One of the greatest tools for ripping apart the surface of a yard yet to become garden is the Garden Claw.  And for my parent’s purchase of said tool years ago I am grateful.  It takes some work; jabbing it into the ground, twisting and wrenching, ripping up that tough top layer filled with root and unwanted growth.  My arms were already sore from the previous begun cultivation, but without this particular tool?  I can’t imagine the work it would have been.  With all the tree roots in our yard, there was no mechanized way to really dig in – and I don’t mind having the chance to feel truly involved with this process.

There isn’t much that’s all that gratifying about jabbing, twisting, and pulling up clumps with the Garden Claw…  nor is there much to take joy in while you use your hand fork to rake through the mess pulling out unwanted plant and root – inch by inch.  Shaking loose the dirt held within each clump.  But the next step?  It makes it all worth the effort!

Feeling that dark rich soil that waited for you, hidden just beneath?  It’s pure heaven.  Watching and discovering the infinite life contained within stirs the soul in ways nothing else does.  Connecting with the Earth at the most basic level, on your hands and knees as you commit each tiny plant to it’s home.

I’m not a gardener.  I don’t know the names of all the crawling creeping things within the soil, nor do I know the names (common or proper) of the perennials we planted the last couple of days.  But I do know that we all need to find a way to connect to our Earth.  If you ever need to see deity, to feel the Earth breathe life and to know that we are all connected?  There is no simpler way to do so than to pick up a trowel and go find a patch of dirt that has been lying in wait for someone to tend it – to turn it from dirt to soil.  To create with it something amazing.

A bit cornball?  Maybe.  But that’s me.

A Vanity for Lily-Ann

Well, tonight the girl and I went shopping.  It was after supper, so we knew even if we were successful on our hunt, that our project wouldn’t actually get started tonight, but it was worth going to look – just the same.  We spent a couple hours checking out all our options before making a choice, and I think it will be workable.

The vanity I built myself when we first bought the house has been overloaded the last couple of years as Lily-Ann amasses more and more of her own things, and further develops her own style.  My vanity now overflows with things belonging to both of us, in containers, in piles, stuck in travel totes because there’s no room for it all.  Something had to change.  And with the girl’s fifth birthday around the corner, the two of us figure it’s time she had a vanity of her own.  Hence the shopping trip.

We live in a small space, so purchasing a vanity just isn’t an option.  That’s why I built mine to begin with.  It’s small, and is basically a glorified shelf jutting out of the wall at the right height with a couple more shelves on the side for storage of large non-everyday essentials.  Hers needs to be even smaller.

It took a lot of imagining…  checking out what we could find, how we could repurpose it, what we could change, what we couldn’t.  And I think we may have found something that we can make work.  It’s supposed to be a towel caddy, for hanging multiple bath towels.  But by pulling out the lower shelf, and adding something over the top (like a breakfast tray), I think we’ll be able to make it work perfectly for her.  It wasn’t quite what I imagined, but I think it will work just fine.

I love living in our small house.  Though it can be a challenge at times, I like how close it helps us to be.  There isn’t room to get away from one another, so we are physically and emotionally closer.  But there are times – like trying to make the most out of our bathroom space – when it can present some inspiring quandaries.

Amazing what a difference half a decade makes!

On Friday, I received my new drivers license in the mail.  A lot has changed since I had taken my previous DL photo.  Not just in my life, but procedurally as well.

Now they require a new photo every five years.  I think it used to be every seven (but don’t quote me on that).  It used to be you could wear glasses, smile, act and be natural in your photo.  Now, even if you wear glasses full time they have to be off, and not only are you not allowed to crack a toothy grin, you aren’t allowed to smile at all.  But, as you’ll note from my new license, a wry smirk is perfect acceptable.

My Driver's License Photo - Old and New

My Driver’s License Photo – Old and New

 

I have to admit…  when I received my new license and pulled the old one from my wallet, I stopped and stared at the photos for a while.  What a difference roughly half a decade makes.  The first photo was before I was married, before Lily-Ann was even a vague idea.  It was before I’d changed focus from my work as an expert in Canine Communication to Professional Photographer.  I voted Green back then, but wasn’t a member of the party, and would never dream I would run the provincial party and run for office during a provincial election, a national election, and a provincial by-election.  It was before I returned to my roots and realized how much I missed working with youth.  I hadn’t outed myself as a former victim of sexual assault, and was ashamed of the fact that I had FMS and IBS.  It was a very different me – who was plagued by social anxiety disorder and had a specially trained Service Dog because I couldn’t leave the house alone.

Now?  Wow.  There really isn’t much of that girl left.

I chose my wording carefully, the use of “girl” wasn’t an accident.  I was a girl.  I was a nervous, scared, girl.  I hid it pretty well from most folk…  but I really did live my life scared that I’d be found out, that someone would realize I wasn’t actually good enough to be worthwhile.

I said it once already, but for emphasis, I’ll say it again:  What a difference roughly half a decade makes.

Now?  I’m probably a little too self-assured…  I’m actually downright cocky.  LOL  I know that who I am matters, and what I do makes a difference.  I’m a proud woman.  Confident and ready to tackle pretty much anything that comes my way.  I live out loud, and tend to over share.  Want to know something about me?  Ask.  I’m not afraid and will happily talk to anyone about anything.  I’m doing some pretty amazing things.

Someone asked me if I felt old now that I’ve turned 35, and you know what?  I totally don’t.  I feel like life is just beginning.  I’ve just hit my stride.

 

Sometimes joy is simple…

When I watch my wee girl sleeping, laying in bed next to me, joy is simple.  Nothing could fill my heart more than watching her here, quietly breathing.  Each rise and fall of her tiny chest elevates my happiness a little further.  This type of joy is easy.  This love comes easily.  Some joy, some love, you really have to work at…  but for now, I’m blissfully happy just laying here in the dark with my wee one beside me.

Families who don’t co-sleep may find certain things easier (like couple time for mom and dad).  LOL  But I wouldn’t trade this closeness with my daughter for any of it.  She sleeps soundly knowing I’m right here, and I sleep better knowing she is safe and sleeping deeply.  This, for me, is a natural.

The wee girlie has her own bed.  It’s a loft we built in Autumn.  It’s right above our bed (I even posted a couple times about it here).  And she slept in it for quite a while…  and I missed her while she was up there.  LOL  But as she grows and changes, sometimes  she needs us closer than at others.  And right now, she needs these night times.  It won’t be long until she rolls her eyes when I ask for a hug and kiss, so as long as she wants me close, I’m happy to remain so.

Co-sleeping is worth any tiny sacrifices we may have to make…  but honestly?  Those sacrifices are nothing compared to the rewards it brings.  In a world full of people with sleeping disorders, I know my daughter sleeps soundly.  She  is safe, secure, and attached.  Just as she should be.

Soundly Sleeping Sweetie

Moving on…

Lily-Ann finally figured out how to peddle her bike, just in time for her to have outgrown it.  LOL  Isn’t that always the way?  So as we head ever closer to Winter, we are now on the lookout for a new-to-us bike for the wee girlie.  The one she has outgrown has 8″ tires, so probably something in the ten to twelve inch range would be right.  We’ll be passing her old bike on to someone who needs it, and hoping someone will do the same with one that their little one(s) have outgrown.  🙂  Guessing we’ll probably find one just as the snow hits, and then by Spring, when she can get out and ride, we’ll need the next size up.  LMAO  So cross your fingers for us, that we find the perfect new-to-us bike sooner rather than later… so the wee girlie actually has time to get out and enjoy it.  😉

Moving on up...

Closer than I appear.

Objects in Mirror are Closer than they Appear.

Closer than I appear.

I sometimes wonder if everything we do is worth it.  Living an ordinary life would be so much simpler.  I’ve done a lot of things, worn a lot of hats, played a lot of roles…  not all fit, but I could see how a person could be happy living within a box more simply defined.  One label.  One job.  One purpose.  A complex life is just that, complex.  It’s rarely easy.  And I do, from time to time, wonder if all the extra effort is really worth it.  It would be so much more simple, so much easier, to be ordinary.

I think we all get tired at times.  I know I’ve taken on a lot of important roles.  I’ve also moved past some important roles that I wish I could have held onto…  but we evolve.  We change.  And some hats we once wore so well end up not fitting us as well as the decades pull us onwards.

So…  no real point to make today.  LOL  Just kinda rambling on…  rambling through this road trip we call life.  🙂  Thinking about the interesting pit stops we’ve hit so far, and wondering where we’ll find ourselves tomorrow.

I’m feeling a bit like I’m at a crossroad.  Time to do some evaluating.  I think I may have a hat or two in my closet that just aren’t all together me any more.  Might be time to do a little late spring cleaning.  Wonder if there is anything here worth shipping off to Sally Ann.  😉

Take care of each other.

Catching up. :)

Okay, here’s the last several days.

The Ninth – The wee girlie waits in the front yard for her Pop Pop to pick her up for an overnight at the lake.

Waiting for Pops.

The Tenth – Jennifer and Jacob’s wedding.

I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again…  I HATE shooting posed portraits.  They are lifeless and stale.  Not at all my style.  But it was their wedding day, and posed portraits are what they wanted.  Who am I to argue?  So I smiled and laughed with them as I arranged the traditional wedding portraits, one, after another, after another…  I started getting a little buggy…  so I flipped them around.  LMAO  It made things much more fun.  😉

Say Cheese!

The Eleventh -“I can do it myself Mommy.  I don’t need your help.”  Here’s the wee girlie, putting in a quiet time DVD without my help.  😉  And for those who are wondering, it’s Slim Pig…  on loan from the library.

"I can do it!"

The Twelfth – The beginnings of Lily-Ann’s “Strawberry Day” dress.

Strawberry Day is the wee girlie’s birthday.  I’ve called her my little strawberry since the day she was born… and so it just seemed like a natural to refer to her birthday as Strawberry Day.  This year she has requested a princess party.  Two of her favourite things right now are princesses and excavators…  a princess party is much easier than an excavator party so I wasn’t about to argue.  😉  That said, we needed a princess dress, complete with sparkles and tulle galore.  It should be quite lovely.  I’ve devoted two evenings to it so far, and easily have another full one ahead.  I can be so domestic at times that I scare myself.  LMFAO

The beginnings...

The Thirteenth – Mommy’s Day!

Yep, I took a lunch date with a couple of my dearest friends today.  Damon is home on holidays for the next couple of weeks and was here to watch the wee girlie…  so when asked, I jumped at the chance.  It’s not to often I get time like this to visit with friends.  So here we are; Jenn, Susan, and myself (of course they stuck me out front) heading back home after a great lunch.  A much needed treat that I’m very appreciative of.  Thanks so much Susan, thanks so much Jenn.  I love you guys.  Today meant a lot.  🙂

Girlfriends!

So… there we are.  All caught up.  Take care everyone, and don’t forget to tell those who matter most to you that they make a difference in your life.  It’s always a good thing to hear, and something many of us don’t take the time to say enough.

Night.

SPRING!!!!

Here it is folks… proof that spring has sprung on the Canadian Prairie.  Wow!  Can’t believe we aren’t still buried under snow…  it is still March, right?  We’re usually still partially under snow in MAY!

Yep.  Can you believe it?  Little growing things popping out from under the autumn leaves (don’t know why folks insist on raking them up, they are SOOO good for your yard).

little growing things...  tiny green sprouts of something...

SPRING!

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